Therefore Having Gone

Therefore Having Gone

Wednesday, August 18, 2021

WATCHING FROM A DISTANCE

This evening I am once again fighting the sinus infection that never dies. It hibernates in the shadows for weeks at a time and then creeps right back in where it isn't wanted.

It's particularly inconvenient tonight because I am needing to do some planning and grading for my classes and, more importantly, it is Samuel's last evening with us all before he heads off to college. (Which also means that tomorrow I need to be alert enough to make it through a day of teaching and then drive the almost two hours to Muncie, Indiana and back, with enough energy in reserve to survive Friday.) 

After school, all I wanted was to get a nap. Instead, I found myself unloading and loading the dishwasher and prepping dinner. Why didn't somebody else take care of the kitchen during the day? Why are my kids hiding in their rooms or at a friend's house instead of setting the table?

I have to tell you though, that I find it really hard to maintain a pity party these days. Watching the unimaginable suffering in Afghanistan and Haiti, I feel so petty for what are, at most, incredibly minor inconveniences to my plans. 

I already feel a sort of guilt about not being in Haiti myself, to face an uncertain future alongside of friends there. And I find that the only way that guilt could possibly get any worse is to allow myself to wallow in even a minute of self-pity in my comfortable mid-west existence. 

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