I've come to the conclusion that at least part of the benefit of setting a goal for myself of throwing, giving, or selling something each day right now (even though it might be a year and a half before we actually get to Haiti) is the chance to stroll down memory lane with at least a bit of leisure. If I waited until the month before moving, I'd have to toss things left and right without much of a glance. Things that could be given away would end up in the trash. And things that belong in the trash would go without any review. As I have started to look over these things, I have come to a deeper appreciation of just how blessed my life has been!
There's no date in the front of this Bible - no indication that it was given to me by anyone in particular and, honestly, I have no recollection of how or exactly when I received it. But it has a lot of passages underlined - very familiar verses now that were once brand new to me. Many of the things I underlined are the more challenging bits of Scripture - the ones that got me fired up as a young Christian ... and which are only now becoming realized in my life!
For example:
"I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus, my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ." (Phil 3:8-9)
My high school Sunday School teachers, Tom and Marcia Kuhn, were the first folks who personally challenged me to read my Bible on a regular basis - they suggested a chapter a day. Before that, I had never heard talk of a 'quiet time' or 'daily devotional'. They got me reading chapter by chapter through the New Testament when I was a junior in high school. It wasn't long before I realized that the Bible wasn't just some dusty old story book, but rather a vehicle through which God could speak to ME, directly. What a discovery that was! (I had the same revelation ... a re-revelation?? ... on the trip to Haiti and I got all excited about Scripture again - like I hadn't felt in years.)
It was Hebrews 11:1 in May of 1985. "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen." Memorial Day weekend of that year brought news that a good friend of mine, Phil Palmer, had died in a car crash. It turns out I had seen him just an hour or so before the accident. He had driven past my house that Saturday night just as I was returning from a bike ride. He rolled down the window and we chatted for a couple of minutes as I leaned on the handle bars of my bike. Later, I tried to recall that conversation and I couldn't. The only thing I clearly remembered was the last thing I said to him: "See you later."
Just minutes later, he was speeding down Old Cemetary Road, on his way home, when he hit a pothole. As an inexperienced driver, he lost control of the wheel and plowed the car into one of the few trees along the road with enough force to literally tear the car into three pieces.
After hearing the news that Sunday afternoon, I went for a long bike ride, thinking and crying all the way. After about two hours, my butt started to hurt, so I headed home. As I was approaching the house, I found myself praying, "God, if Phil is really in heaven and if I will really have a chance to see him again, could you please give me some sort of sign?" Please understand that my prayer was not questioning whether or not Phil was a believer - he was and I knew it. My question really meant something like: "God, are you real? Is there really such a place as heaven? How can I be sure when I can't see you and I can't see heaven?"
For several days I was questioning God - alternating between being mad at him and doubting his very existence. I think it was a day or two after Phil's funeral when I finally felt ready to pick up my Bible to resume my daily chapter reading, and I was ready to read Hebrews chapter 11! And when I read "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen", it was God's voice that I was hearing in my head. I know it's a cliche, but I seriously almost fell out of my chair. I had my sign. I look forward to meeting up with Phil again some day.
This morning I was reading in Matthew and I came across an answer I needed. Not an answer to a question I'm asking - an answer to a question I've been asked. Several people have asked recently, "Why in the world would you want to uproot your family and move to Haiti?" Because I made the mistake of letting God show me the people there! And once you've seen poverty and minimal survival like that, it puts new meaning to Jesus' words in Matthew 7:12 - "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." I see those faces in my mind even now and think, "If our places on this planet were reversed, whatever I might want them to do unto me, I guess I better do!" There are still 1.3 million Haitians living in tents, unable to rebuild since the earthquake.
One Post Script to my story of God speaking to me through Scripture after Phil's death: It wasn't too many weeks after Hebrews 11, that I was heading into James for the first time: (Just as relevant now as it was then) "Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.' As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."
Then there's always Luke 12:48 - "From everyone who has been given much, much will be expected; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." I have been given much!
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