SLEEP

Because Melissa was out of town for a couple of days at a conference for work, I decided a couple of nights ago just to go to bed early one evening. 

Early is 9:30 for me. My alarm goes off at 5:00, but often I wake up before then.

That next morning I woke up feeling great. I've learned this before but need a reminder now and then: a nap after school is nowhere near as useful as just going to bed an hour earlier and getting a full night of sleep. 

Then, because I was feeling really good for a couple of days, this morning I asked my first period class about their sleep habits.

And ... yikes! 

I take absolutely everything students tell me with a grain of salt, but I did believe them when the majority reported falling asleep nightly after midnight. Some said they are awake regularly past 2 or 3 AM. 

(I didn't ask what they were doing at those hours of the night. I didn't want to know.)

All throughout the day, in every class, it is common for me to have 3 to 6 students who can't keep their heads off their desk. It's a serious problem day after day.

When I mentioned that I feel like I should do a bit better at home monitoring my own 8th grade daughter's sleeping habits, my students were aghast: Parents? Overseeing their kids' activities? Oh, no - that's going too far! 

The consensus: That's none of my parents' business. 

BUILT UP

Ephesians 4:29 - "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

Every once in a while I am reminded of the incredible power of words for building others up.

This afternoon I was walking alongside one of my 8th grade students in the hallway and she took the opportunity to say this:

"Do you think you would ever be interested in teaching another class? I don't mean to put pressure on you or anything, but would you?"

I asked her what she meant and she replied with the utmost sincerity, "Well, I just feel like it's a shame we only had you as a teacher for one semester - I feel like I have so much more I could learn from you." 

I didn't know how much I needed to hear something like that.

Those words didn't just make my day - they are going to be enough to carry me to May 27th. 

And they almost made me forget that just the period before some anonymous student had found opportunity to sneak a wad of wet paper towel into my pants pocket on his way out of the classroom ...

GETTING IT BACKWARDS

 "I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves."  Matthew 10:16

I believe it was author and song-writer John Fischer who I heard once expounding on Matthew 10:16 as he spoke and performed at Asbury Seminary for a special event back in the late 90s while I was a student there. Anyway, it seems like something he would say.

Even if I am uncertain of the speaker, I do clearly recall what was said:

"Jesus told his followers to be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. My experience is that too many Christians have gotten this exactly backwards: They are mean as snakes and dumb as birds." 

I remember being impressed with the clever turn of phrase.

And discouraged by the accuracy of the assertion. 

In the decades since I first heard this sentiment, I have, unfortunately, too often experienced both meanness and idiocy at the hands of self-professed Christians (as hinted at elsewhere in this blog). 

What Fischer said is true. Sometimes Christians are mean as snakes and dumb as birds. 

But I strive to forgive, recognizing that I too have been mean and dumb at times. 

Even so, we are called to shrewdness and innocence, so stupidity and meanness among Christians should be called out and challenged ... in a spirit of love.

CHOSEN

In my Bible time this morning I came across a passage that prompted a question in my mind that I want to pose to my Calvinist friends. It's a question I have not ever seen addressed in any debate I have ever watched or read on the topic of Calvinism, but surely someone has an answer for it.  (I am assuming I just haven't come across this yet.)

For the record, the Calvinists that I know personally - my Calvinist brothers and sisters - tend to be among the most intelligent, Biblically literate, and godly people I have come across in my lifetime. Nevertheless, I have never been persuaded of key aspects of Calvinist theology, among them unconditional election, the idea that, from before time began, God chose some individuals to be saved and some not to be saved based on nothing more than His sovereign will. 

This concept is stated succinctly in one of the key verses Calvinists often point to, Ephesians 1:4 - "For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight."

The word "chose" here is the Greek word "exelexato", meaning to choose, elect, or select.

Among other places, this same Greek word is found in John 15:16 where Jesus says, "You did not choose me but I chose you, and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit - fruit that will last - and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you."

But this morning my attention and curiosity was caught by another use of this same word, this time in the book of James. The general context is different from Ephesians certainly: James is warning believers not to favor rich people over the poor. But note how the immediate context bears certain similarities:

James 2:5 - "Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?"

So this raises my question: Doesn't a Calvinist have to give God's "choosing" in James 2:5 the same level of literal interpretation as God's "choosing" in Ephesians 1:4?

But I have never heard anyone - Calvinist or not - argue that the materially poor of the world have all been chosen by God according to his sovereign will to receive automatically the gift of faith and, therefore, salvation. 

But why not? James says God has chosen the poor to be "rich in faith" and to "inherit the kingdom he promised", right? 

My question is sincere and not meant as a "gotcha": Any Calvinists care to educate me on how and why we should differentiate between these two "choosings"?

APPLAUDED OR DESPISED?

A few days ago I came across two tweets that seemed to be pointing to a similar and unpopular truth.

The first one I can quote here verbatim:

"When people imagine taking a courageous moral stand, they picture people praising and applauding them. But that's not courageous. When you actually take a courageous stand, people will despise and traduce you." Bo Winegard @EPoe187 on Twitter

The second one was a pastor singing the praises of his wife on their anniversary. In effect, he complimented her on the fact that she had stuck with him even though when they first met he had warned her that he was going to be a pastor and so a lot of people were going to hate him. 

That's funny because I have never thought of someone going into Christian ministry assuming that they would be hated and reviled for it. 

But why not?

Jesus said, "You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved." (Matthew 10:22)

For many years I could not imagine how this could possibly be so, but I think I am starting to understand it. 

THE BEST AND THE WORST

Yesterday I mentioned a couple of pastors I had worked for in the past who (sadly) acted in rather despicable ways.

Fortunately, I was also blessed to work with some downright incredible pastors. These were godly men and women who taught me so much. 

From early in my youth ministry career I noticed a peculiar thing:

Even the very worst pastor has at least a small group of followers who think he is absolutely wonderful, and he can count on their undying support.

And ...

Even the very best pastor has at least a small group of critics who think he is absolutely horrible, and he can count on their never-ending opposition. 

When I left youth ministry, I realized that what is true for pastors holds true for leaders in general in both secular and faith-based settings. 

OPTIONS

From the day I started my first summer job outside my parents' hardware store until my current days, I have heard plenty of complaints about "the boss". I have never been the boss myself, but I have decades of experience being under someone else's authority.

During my first foray into youth ministry, I found myself under the authority of a truly despicable pastor. He was mean, foul-mouthed, negative, and - according to his own adult daughter - crazy. He was a mess.

But I came to understand an important lesson from him. 

In a position where I was unhappy with my boss, I had three options:

1) Suck it up and carry on doing my best possible work.

2) Bad-mouth the boss, undercut his authority often, and maybe even work to get him removed from his position of authority. 

3) Quit.

I went with Option #1 for a while, until things got truly terrible. 

And I don't know if I was specifically aware of Hebrews 13:17 at the time, but I instinctively knew that Option #2 was not only wrong, it had the potential to make my own life more miserable as well. 

I still strongly believe that, at least for the Christian, #2 is not a valid option. And yet it is the path most commonly taken, even over relatively mild disagreements or imagined offenses. (Certainly, there are people in places of authority who should be removed, and this particular pastor probably qualified, but it was not my place to do that. Thankfully, most of us are not dealing with those types of people in authority over us.)

In the end, I went with Option #3 and quit. As much as I loved the people of that church, it was the right move. (I was the first of several staff members to quit in the following months.)

Later I worked under a rather paranoid and petty pastor at another church. He threatened to take away my house if he discovered me badmouthing him to other people within the church. He need not have worried. I had already learned my lesson by then. 

I'm not saying that I am perfect at this, but this is my heart's orientation towards any authority I am under. 

NICER IN THE MORNINGS

Yesterday I quoted Hebrews 13:17: "Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you."  

And as I mentioned, the authority in question here seems to be within the church. But certainly we can draw a couple of principles that would apply to general scenarios where we find ourselves under authority - like students under a teacher or employees under a boss:

1) We should submit because the leader has been charged with watching over us and must endure the pressure of answering to an even higher Authority.

2) If we submit, the leader's work becomes a joy.

3) If we refuse, the leader's work becomes a burden.

4) If the leader's work is a joy, we are bound to share in that joy.

5) If the leader's work is a burden, we are bound to bear a portion of the misery.

My 8th graders had a couple of days of standardized testing this week and it threw off our regular schedule in some ways. One of my students from 8th period (my non-compliant class) found himself testing with me and my regular first period class Tuesday morning. On Tuesday afternoon he walked in for our regular class and loudly asked me, "Hey, how come you're so much nicer in the mornings??"

I wanted to say simply, "Hebrews 13:17". 

How often do we make our own lives more difficult by bad-mouthing the boss and bucking the boss's authority?

THE S-WORD

Submit.

It's not a popular word. Not a feel-good concept. Not an easy practice.

But it is a command believers frequently find themselves under in various situations.

A command!

Here's a particularly neglected passage of Scripture with a submission command:

"Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you." (Hebrews 13:17) 

It seems clear from the context that the author of Hebrews has the local church authorities in mind.

I wonder what percentage of churchgoers have confidence in their church leaders and submit to their authority?

I wonder what percentage know that it's a commandment.  

FOOTNOTES

Am I the only reader who really enjoys footnotes in a good book?

I get a little thrill when I turn a page and notice a sizeable footnote coming up. I often even scan the page to find the exact location of the little asterisk in advance so that I am sure not to miss it as I read the main text. 

Is that weird?

Part of my love of footnotes is that they signal an author who has done his or her research and is willing to "show the receipts". I admire that.

But probably the bigger factor is that footnotes often contain a point that the author has found compelling but has not quite figured out a way to fit into the flow of the text. He or she includes it anyway, in its own special spot at the bottom of the page. 

Here's a good example of a random footnote I found valuable on the topic of salary levels from a book I picked up recently called Think Again by Adam Grant:

*Pay isn't a carrot we need to dangle to motivate people - it's a symbol of how much we value them. Managers can motivate people by designing meaningful jobs in which people have freedom, mastery, belonging, and impact. They can show appreciation by paying well. 

I know this to be true from personal experience. And it matters. The size of my paycheck has never been a motivator to me. But it most certainly functions as an indicator of how much I feel valued. And if I don't feel valued, I likely won't stick around long. 

A PROGRESSION

When I was young, I trusted the news media to tell me the truth about current events.

Then I learned about bias and how it can twist the truth by selection of what to report and what to leave out. 

Then I began to recognize just how much of the news media "on the other side" was influenced by their bias.

And then I began to recognize just how much of the news media "on my own side" was influenced by their bias.

Now I don't know who to trust on any current event. Real journalism seems pretty scarce these days.

This leaves me 100% certain of only one thing: whatever the story is, I do not know the full story. 

(Whether we are talking national news or the everyday drama with people in our personal lives, literally, only God knows the full story.)

And, painfully aware of my own vast ignorance on all the pertinent details of any particular news story, I am now very hesitant to express firm judgments about current events, especially on social media. 

You are welcome. ;-)

TALENT AND SKILL

Watching Sarah running track has highlighted an important difference between me and my kids - much to their advantage: it took me decades to learn the difference between talent and skill.

As a kid, I typically gave up on any enterprise that I couldn't excel at within the first ten minutes of effort. 

I tried out for track during junior high but quit after the first day. My excuse was "sports asthma", but in reality, I was slower than everyone else. At the end of the first day of practice. 

So I quit. 

I tried out for the swim team in the 9th grade. The other kids in the pool that day had been swimming competitively for years. Unsurprisingly, I was far behind. One disparaging remark from the coach after the first practice sent me packing. I remember it started "Technically I'm not supposed to cut any student from the swim team who wants to participate, but ...." 

Say no more!

It took me a long time to learn that every expert, regardless of his or her level of natural talent, began as an amateur. 

Skill takes time. Eventually I stopped quitting so quickly.

RUNNING TRACK

My kids continue to impress me. This time it is Sarah.

A few weeks ago Sarah surprised Melissa and me by joining the 8th grade track team. 

Keep in mind that our kids have been in Haiti most of their schooling careers - with almost zero opportunity to participate in organized sports of any kind. And it shows in more ways than one.

One of us at the dinner table asked her how soon the track competitions would begin and, I kid you not, Sarah responded, "We compete?"

Okay, so it became immediately obvious that her sole motivation for joining the team was a couple of friends who twisted her arm. Still, she has stuck with it even when practice has gotten painful. (Though she threatened to quit daily the first week.) And she is starting to make some gains in her stamina. 

Sarah's first competition was last Wednesday, a sunny but frigid spring evening. She didn't win any medals, but she gave it her best and it was great to see her looking so natural in a setting that would have been completely outside her comfort zone just a few months ago. 

Here's her first race - the 100 meter dash. Sarah is in yellow and blue, far right lane:

THE OUTSIDERS

My 8th graders have been reading The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton. If you are not familiar with the novel, it was published in 1967 when the author was just 18 years old and it heralded a new, grittier take on young adult fiction. (Susan Eloise Hinton, by the way, was convinced by her publisher to use only her initials in order not to alienate any young male readers who might find themselves biased against a female author.) 

I had never read the book before this school year, but I am left with two distinct impressions:

First,  it is a pretty impressive bit of work for a teenage author. 

And second, its prescription for addressing prejudice strikes me as right on target ... and the polar opposite of what's in vogue in modern American culture.

You see, The Outsiders is a story of the tragic interaction between two rival groups, the southside Socs (short for "Socials", the country club set) and the northside Greasers (the juvenile delinquent types). But it can be viewed as an analogy for any sort of group identity, "us vs. them" situation. 

The narrator of the story is a Greaser named Ponyboy Curtis, who comes to an important realization with the help of a likeminded Soc girl named Cherry: it's easy to hate an entire group of people when your own group is invested in seeing - and resenting - only the stereotype and not individual human beings. 

The vast majority of characters surrounding Ponyboy, both Soc and Greaser, are invested in stoking hatred and are tragically blind to the ways their words and actions contribute to the continuation of strife and destruction. And even death.

But Ponyboy, at first shocked to find he has anything in common with any Soc, soon comes to see other people as particular individuals, with their own strengths and weaknesses and struggles, regardless of their group identity, and thus he becomes a firewall against further animosity. 

So this has left me with a mystery: If a teenager of the 60s could discern the path forward through prejudice, why are the adults in charge today so blind to it?

CLARIFYING

It's funny. I have been writing every day now since the start of 2021 - three and a half months. When I began, I thought I would likely run short on topics by the end of January, but now at April 16th, I feel like I am just getting started. 

One of the people I can count on to read this blog on a regular basis is my wife, Melissa. She says she reads it to find out what I am thinking.

I'm a pretty private person - a true introvert - and I spend a lot of time inside my own head. Over the past year, the furniture there has all been rearranged and it's very disconcerting. Writing out my thoughts has been tremendously helpful to me. 

The greatest benefit has been clarity. Writing forces me to clarify what I am thinking and feeling - primarily to myself and secondarily to others, like Melissa. 

So I guess, in a sense, my primary audience at the moment is ... me.

If it is acceptable to "talk to yourself", couldn't it also be a thing to "write to yourself"?

IN SEARCH OF AN AUDIENCE

I finally found a few minutes tonight to charge up my new phone and transfer all my data and apps. Then I explored the camera features, and that got me excited. Maybe it will change this past year's equations.

The "equations" in question have looked like this: 

Coronavirus + Loss of Ministry in Haiti = General Sadness
And ... 

General Sadness + Lame Cellphone Camera - My Mother as Audience = Sparse Photos

A little explanation on the last part of the second equation: Since my mother passed away in October of 2019, it has slowly dawned on me that whenever I posted thoughts on this blog and photos on Facebook in the past, she was always the primary audience in the back of my mind. I had full assurance that she would see and enjoy each and every photo or story that documented our daily lives - the beautiful faces of our students, the peacocks outside our door, the rats in our cabinets, the visitors who graced our home and school, our summer travels. Birthdays. Beach trips. Holidays. Airport hassles. Even food pics.

Now ... well, I have yet to find a replacement audience. I feel a little lost still. 

Anyway, the equations are bound to change because at least I have a better camera now. 

Exhibit A is a close up of the hydrangea I bought for Melissa for Easter as it sat in our living room this evening:

Not bad!

As for the General Sadness, it will lift in time.

And as I search for a new primary audience, I would appreciate any advice or suggestions you might have ...

IN DEFENSE OF ARRANGED MARRIAGES

In the late 90s, while I was still single, I met a young lady from India. We were part of the same Christian community for several months and it was not until circumstances sent us in different directions on the globe that I discovered that she had concealed a small crush on me.

This was revealed in a letter she sent several months after the fact. She was back in India and it was now safe to reveal her crush. She had not pursued me, she explained, because she was shy and, anyway, her family was quite traditional and the choice of a life partner rested solely in her parents' hands and not her own. 

She wrote - and I believed her - that she was quite ok with the prospect of an arranged marriage. In fact, it was preferable to dating. It took the pressure off of her. Plus, she trusted that her parents had more wisdom in choosing the right man for her than she herself did.

At the time, I thought it was the saddest letter I had ever read. 

Now? As a parent myself, I see a certain maturity in that solid trust in her parents (who loved her and wanted the best for her) and in the mistrust of her own perceptions. 

Human beings are already 90% illogical. What can gum up the logical 10% of us faster or more completely than an intoxicating cocktail of hormones and "love"? 

This is on my mind because I have a young friend who finds himself in a new, yet deeply troubled, marriage. And it was a marriage many people had advised against. 

I know that "We told you so" is obviously not what he needs to hear right now, but what exactly DOES he need to hear?

Certainly, whatever I might advise him in the coming months, it is bound to be "easier said than done". 

BIRTHDAY GIFTS

Today was number 53 for me. 

I'm never too thrilled about birthdays, but I decided to use this one as an opportunity to focus on all the gifts I have received from the Lord and the people He has surrounded me with.

Here's a sample:

Gift 1: I have a student with whom I have recently locked horns with in class a few times - resulting even in some detention time. First thing this morning she gave me the biggest laugh of the day when she handed me a gift bag with this inside:

That's a pretty gutsy move! Hilarious. 

Gift 2: My family got me a new camera. It even has a built in phone.

I had gotten a new phone just last summer but it has been such a disappointment. The camera on it really only functioned well in bright sunlight when the subject held perfectly still. But I hesitated to replace that lame piece of tech so quickly because that seemed so indulgent. But, thankfully, birthdays are made for indulgence!

You might be seeing more Instagram posts from me again now ...

Gift 3: Time with old friends.

Bob and Jill were back in Indiana for a family wedding and Melissa and I were thrilled that they worked an evening with us into their schedule. And bonus points for the timing.

They are always such an encouragement to us and tonight was no different. 

IMPORTANT POSTSCRIPT

The last two days I have posted Robert Frost's poem Nothing Gold Can Stay:

Nature's first green is gold, 
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

 

After reading my post the other day, Melissa commented, "Boy, that's a depressing poem."

Like other great poetry, many of Frost's poems have a discernable spiritual dimension, but apparently his own personal faith was, as one biographer worded it, "nothing straightforward". 

So it is unclear if Frost believed that "nothing gold can stay" was the final word, but the poem deserves a very important postscript.

Yes, Eden sank to grief, but ever since that day, the Lord has been patiently and powerfully and sacrificially working to restore what was lost. 

I am one of God's restoration projects and so are you. In fact, all of creation is as well. And one day, there will be a new heaven and a new earth.

And grief will be what cannot stay.

MISSED ALLUSIONS

Yesterday I mentioned Robert Frost's poem Nothing Gold Can Stay. When I discussed this poem in my classroom a few days ago, I took the opportunity to introduce the literary term "allusion". 

As I suspected, the word was unfamiliar to the students, so I explained that an allusion is when an author references some famous person, place, or event but does not explain its relevance because he or she assumes the audience already has the knowledge and can make the connection. 

The obvious allusion in Nothing Gold Can Stay is to "Eden":

Nature's first green is gold, 
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

When I started the lesson, I was curious as to how many students might not get the allusion because they did not know of the Garden of Eden. I was thinking of a day about ten years earlier in this same school when I was shocked to find a single sophomore student who had never heard of "Adam and Eve"! What would I find among my current 8th graders?

Sadly, after our discussion in class, I would guess around 50% did not seem to recognize either "The Garden of Eden" or "Adam and Eve"! 

I explained to the class that if you don't get an allusion, you are missing out on some part of the message. 

But in my heart I was thinking, "If an individual is so ignorant of the Bible as to not even get a reference to Eden, misinterpreting a line of poetry is likely the least of his problems."

NOTHING GOLD CAN STAY

I have been loving the advent of this current springtime more than any other I can remember. We didn't make it back to Indiana until mid-April last year and so we had already missed the first blossoms when they are at their brightest and hardiest. And of course we didn't experienced last spring as the far side of a cold and dreary Indiana winter - and that makes a difference in appreciation levels for sure.

And maybe I'm just a bit more melancholy than past years, but this spring has inspired in me just as much sadness as awe. Maybe it's because I'm getting older and the kids are leaving the nest and I am unexpectedly in the midst of reevaluating my career trajectory while in my 50s. 

I guess things are feeling so ... temporary.

To top it all off, recently (some of) my 8th graders have been reading The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton and she has the narrator at one point recite a famous Robert Frost poem he learned in school.

And it is a sad little poem:

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nature's first green is gold, 

Her hardest hue to hold. 

Her early leaf's a flower; 

But only so an hour. 

Then leaf subsides to leaf. 

So Eden sank to grief, 

So dawn goes down to day. 

Nothing gold can stay. 

Sad, but true.

As a way of illustrating the veracity of Frost's claim that "nothing gold can stay", compare these two pictures of the blooms on the cherry tree Melissa and I planted in our front yard many years ago now.

Here's the first:

And the second is just four days later:

And here are a few of this spring's first leaves - looking like a flower, up against a few leaves leftover from last season on a bush in the backyard:

No doubt about it, Frost is right: nothing gold can stay.

That's where Frost leaves it, anyway, but I have to remind myself that "Eden sank to grief" is not where the story ends ...  

I MISS TEACHING

Lately I've become aware that I miss teaching. 

I mean, I miss teaching the stuff that really matters. The stuff that at least has the potential for being life-changing. 

In my current classes I focus on critical thinking and reading comprehension and writing skills. All important for life and career - nobody has to convince me of that. 

But, ultimately, so what if we grow better able to read and comprehend if we don't get to practice with the most important Book of all time?

I remember hearing someone once say about typical American conversations, "We spend the most time talking about the things that matter the least." 

In my public school classroom I'd say, "We spend the most time talking about things that matter a lot ... but no time talking about the things that matter the most."

And that's getting to me. 

GOD FORBID!

I found out years after the fact that "God forbid!" was my father's reaction when I first announced (during my senior year in college) that I was going to pursue a career in youth ministry. 

His objection - which he kept to himself - wasn't about anything like low pay, lack of status, or limited career options. 

No, the gut-level "God forbid!" came out of his years of attending local churches and especially the experience of serving on various church committees. 

Here was dad's fear: I was a naïve idealist who was about to walk into the reality of the inner workings of a church. He figured that I might witness "how the sausage is made" and get so discouraged that I would walk away not only from the local church but from my Christian faith altogether. 

Thus ... God forbid!

He didn't seek to discourage my plans, but he sure prayed for me. 

PLAY PRACTICE

One evening, years ago, as a young youth pastor I walked into a scheduled church meeting, hoping it would be a short one. 

And not just because it was a church meeting, but because I had play practice to get to. I was just out of college, living in LeMars, Iowa, and I had been pulled into a community theater production of a goofy play called "Bleacher Bums". I had been way too shy to ever get on stage in high school, but I had always wanted to try. And now I was doing it. The cast was an eclectic group of 8 individuals and the atmosphere of practice was thoroughly secular, if you know what I mean.

But I loved it.

So I really wanted this church meeting to be brief. 

When I walked into the church parlor, though, I knew this wasn't going to be an ordinary meeting. It was going to be an attack. 

At the folding table, sitting next to the pastor, was the mother of two youth, neither of whom EVER came to any of the church activities I planned. This woman seemed to be the pastor's guest of honor. And she was scowling. 

After the opening prayer, for the first 40 minutes, the meeting was nothing but this woman dumping all sorts of criticisms on me and the pastor nodding in assent, occasionally tossing in his extra two cents. When things finally calmed down and we moved on to other business, I realized this meeting was not possibly going to end early enough for me to be on time for play practice. And I didn't dare leave before the meeting ended - out of fear that I might receive a fatal back stab on my way out of the church building. 

So I stayed to the bitter end and then drove myself a half hour late to the little community theater maybe ten blocks away, crying and pounding the steering wheel violently as I went.

After parking, I dried my eyes, collected myself briefly, and entered the building. As I walked down the center aisle toward the stage, the cast members looked up from their scripts, jumped out of their seats and someone declared, "Thank goodness you're here - we were all afraid something bad had happened to you!" The pain on my face must have been fairly obvious; the cast members surrounded me and several put their hands on my shoulders to comfort me. 

And for the first time that night, I felt loved.

There's a moral to this story but it is too terrible to spell out in black and white, so I won't. 

LEADERSHIP LESSON

The internet is littered with "leadership quotes". 

I looked through some recently and found:

The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant. —Max DePree

You manage things; you lead people. —Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hopper

Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others. —Jack Welch

A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way. —John Maxwell

Effective leadership is not about making speeches or being liked; leadership is defined by results not attributes. —Peter Drucker

... and a million more.

But here's what I've learned about leadership (mostly from watching other leaders), and it's not going to appear on a motivational poster:

"When you step into leadership, a huge target gets painted on your back."

Does that strike you as overly cynical? Or realistic?

A RECOMMENDATION

I am always looking for solid Christian teaching online and thought you might be interested in one particular man who is doing some top-notch Scriptural studies on YouTube: Mike Winger. 

Winger is apparently an associate pastor at a church in California, but he has dedicated more and more of his time in recent years to producing free content online. 

He's got hundreds of videos on YouTube these days - everything from refuting Jehovah's Witnesses to methodically moving through the entire Gospel of Mark in 50 + parts.

Winger is a rare breed - a teacher who is:

-Relatable

-Knowledgeable

-Interesting

-Passionate

-Diligent

-Wise

-Balanced

-Compassionate

- and extremely Likeable

He also strikes me as one of those brothers in Christ who seems to be cloaked in the Holy Spirit. Have you ever met someone who is obviously filled with the Spirit? That's Mike Winger. 

When you get the chance, you should check him out. Here's a sample video where he spends an hour and 20 minutes exploring the connection between Jesus's sacrifice and the Passover:

 

5 EASY WORDS TO SAY

Five of the easiest words to say are "If I were in charge ...."

Have you ever noticed that:

98% of the time, "If I were in charge ..." is a prelude to a sharp, thinly-veiled criticism of the person who IS in charge?

99% of the time, the audience for "If I were in charge ..." is anyone except the person who IS in charge?

100% of the time, the one who says "If I were in charge ..." truly is unaware of all of the factors involved in the decisions made by the person who IS in charge? 

We need to think twice before we allow "If I were in charge ..." to escape our lips.

SAMUEL'S BIG DAY

I hardly ever use this space to brag about my kids, but let me state for the record that each one is a unique and wonderfully gifted individual and Melissa and I have some idea of how incredibly blessed we are to be their parents.

Today, our third child, Samuel, had such an unusual day that says so much about his personality, I can't help but to share here.

The day started out with him buying his first car. He looked at it yesterday evening, researched it online, and even investigated possible shortcomings. But then, as a 17 year old who has spent most of his recent years living in Haiti, he plunked down $5,000 of his own money to purchase it. This is money he has earned over the last few summers and throughout this year, his senior year, working as a waiter at a local restaurant. 

The most common question he has gotten so far is "Do you FIT in that?"

In that photo, Samuel is wearing a white shirt and bowtie because he was on his way to work after buying the car: a 7 hour shift, 11:00 am to 6:00 pm. I've never waited tables myself, but it looks exhausting.

He packed two sandwiches - one for lunch and one for dinner. He knew he wouldn't have time to join us for dinner tonight at home because right after work he was headed directly to his high school auditorium. 

At 7:30 pm, the curtain rose on the production of "Almost, Maine", a play about various aspects of being in love. Samuel played a character named Phil who was hitting a rough patch with his wife. He and the rest of the cast have been working on this play for months. Melissa and I and Samuel's siblings and his Grandma Trudy had the easy part - we were all in seats cheering him on. 

Not sure how a kid tops a day like that, but I'm pretty sure Samuel is going to do it in the coming years, many times over. Looking forward to seeing what the Lord has in store for Samuel ... and each of his siblings. 

MAN OF SORROWS

The words of a particular old hymn have returned to my mind several times throughout this Good Friday.

Too many modern churches have lost all but the most famous of hymns. Man of Sorrows by Philip Bliss is one I don't believe I have ever heard in a local church worship service. My only exposure to it was at the Urbana Missions Conference I attended when I was in college (long before I ever seriously considered becoming a missionary myself). And yet, I have never forgotten the tune or the power of thousands of voices united in fervently singing:

"Man of Sorrows,” what a name
For the Son of God who came
Ruined sinners to reclaim!
Hallelujah! what a Savior!

Bearing shame and scoffing rude,
In my place condemned He stood;
Sealed my pardon with His blood;
Hallelujah! what a Savior!

Guilty, vile, and helpless, we,
Spotless Lamb of God was He;
Full redemption—can it be?
Hallelujah! what a Savior!

Lifted up was He to die,
“It is finished!” was His cry;
Now in heaven exalted high;
Hallelujah! what a Savior!

When He comes, our glorious King,
To His kingdom us to bring,
Then anew this song we’ll sing
Hallelujah! what a Savior!

Here's a very pleasant version of the hymn on YouTube:

HOME FROM COLLEGE

Caleb and Hannah are home from college for the long holiday weekend and all is right with the world - if only temporarily. 

It won't be long now before they'll be back for the summer months, so I picked up the pace this week on some cosmetic work in Hannah's old bedroom - patching some drywall, adding some trim and fresh paint. I had hoped to have it livable by the time her cousin dropped her at home this evening, but it didn't happen. Tomorrow morning it will be top priority to at least reach a state where it is possible for Hannah to sleep there tomorrow night. Tonight it's the couch.

When I get down about missing Haiti, I remind myself that if Melissa and I were still there with Samuel and Sarah, we would be missing out on special times together as a whole family like this Easter weekend. They are only going to become more rare as the years march on.