PROSOPAGNOSIA

Being a modern American male, I have diagnosed myself via the internet for a condition I would never see a doctor about. And I am confident of my diagnosis.

(Although I have a relatively mild case.)

I have Prosopagnosia.

And I am not alone. Prosopagnosia is estimated to afflict 1 out of every 50 human beings.

The common term is Face Blindness and it is the "inability to recognize or differentiate faces". It's a brain disorder.

I am only half joking about diagnosing myself with Prosopagnosia. I definitely have a harder time than most people in recognizing faces.

You often hear "I might not recall your name, but I never forget a face". 

I forget both.

During many social interactions, I find myself wondering "have I met you before?" or "how do I know you?" 

Pair this with my weak memory, and it can really add to my social anxiety.

Here's a recent example: On a particular Sunday morning this past December, I was introduced to two gentlemen at church who expressed interest in joining the men's small group I am leading. One of these guys walked away to greet someone else, but I spoke to the other for about five minutes. I told both of them that we would be restarting the group after the holidays and I got their names and phone numbers. 

So I have been in contact with them by texting, but if I have seen them in passing on the Sunday mornings since our conversation, I have not recognized them or greeted them.

I seriously don't remember what either man looks like.

So I imagine they have both smiled at me at church and I have walked right past them without acknowledging them. Or asking how they are doing. Or inviting them again to join our group.

And they probably think I am a jerk.

I'm not a jerk. And I am not uncaring.

I have Prosopagnosia. And there's no cure.

(Now I just have to figure out how to pronounce it.)