ASSUMPTIONS

Yesterday I mentioned a nationwide toxic negativity that is pervading our society. Want a good example of where those negative assumptions can lead?

A waitress I know (very well!) told this story just a few days ago:

She was juggling several tables during a busy time for the restaurant. At one of these tables sat a sweet and kind older couple. The man was black and the woman was white - a detail I include only because it is relevant to the story.

Between taking orders and delivering food, the waitress made happy small talk with the two customers. (She's a friendly person and she likes people - it's not just for tips!) 

Before she figured up the bill, she politely asked them, "Will this be on one check or two?"

Something changed. The couple glared at the waitress. There was an uncomfortable silence for several seconds. Finally the man dismissively blurted out, "Just bring me the bill."

The waitress was shocked. She had thought the couple had enjoyed their food and their experience and she wondered, "What just happened?"

Still bothered and scratching her head a few hours later, the waitress mentioned the odd interaction to her manager.

The manager, who had been working the cash register when this couple came up to pay their bill, solved the mystery. The couple left their table obviously worked up. The man told the manager that they were upset by the racist attitude of their server!

His complaint? That the waitress "would not have asked if they wanted separate bills if I were a white man!"

The manager explained that the wait staff was trained to always ask that very question because, surprisingly, the majority of customers ask for split bills, even among couples. Assumptions of "one check" often lead to extra time and effort at the point when a customer is ready to get going. 

The man calmed down and, to his credit, said to the manager, "Oh ... maybe I overreacted just a bit?"

Now, I know America is not perfect. And I know that there are bonified racists in our midst. And I have no doubt that this man has faced his share of racism throughout his lifetime. But I do have to wonder ...

Of all the racism he has encountered, how much has been imaginary?