Day 88 - Bibles (Give ... to Papua New Guinea)

Storly got onto a track during Sunday School today where he started asking about folks within our class who have connections to some sort of charity work or missions - places that have needs of one sort or another.  (This is all in the context of our study of "The Hole in Our Gospel".)  One of the couples have a daughter and son-in-law (and grandkids) on the mission field with Wycliffe in Papua New Guinea.  Apparently, there is a need there for English translations of the Bible and there is an effort underway in our church to collect a thousand Bibles to send.

I immediately thought this would be a tailor-made Give.  I have collected a fair share of Bible over the years.  This afternoon I took some time to gather together some Bibles and realized I had even more than I had thought!

Look at this stack:

That's fourteen Bibles.  Fourteen!

There's the J.B. Phillips translation of the New Testament (given to me by evil pastor Gjerde), God's Game Plan FCA Student Bible, two copies of the Serendipity New Testament for Groups, a copy of The Message Old Testament Wisdom Books, The Message Bible, one New International Version (which I got at the Urbana Missions Conference in 1987), a New American Standard Version, and the Young Reader's Bible presented to me on August 28, 1977 by my home church.

I've got to keep one or two (or three), but the others tend to gather dust.  I'll definitely keep the top orange Bible.  It's compact and has a durable cover.  There's another one in there I'd like to keep: a Greek/English interlinear version of the New Testament.  And maybe one of the study Bibles - the Ryrie Study Bible is very helpful at times and I also like my study Bible with the Wesleyan slant.

To me, this stack of Bibles represents just one more example of how blessed we are with resources that many Christians around the world could only dream of.  And what do we do with God's blessings?  We allow them to sit on our shelves and gather dust.

Not these Bibles... they're headed overseas. 

If you have an extra Bible or two around your house, get ahold of me and we'll make sure they get included in the shipment. 

P.S. Found three more Bibles in the house - Melissa's leatherbound Bible, and Caleb's, and a big honking King James version we got as a gift when we got married.  That's 17 Bibles in our house. 

Wait.  One more.  Just remembered I have a Bible that belonged to my grandmother, Lucile Henke.  She was Lucile Linville when the Bible was presented to her by her church on April 3, 1927.  I'll be keeping that one, too. Or passing it on to one of my brothers.

That's 18 Bibles under our roof.  That's crazy.

Oh yeah ... I have at least one more Bible I keep on my shelf at school.  19.  That's over three Bibles per family member...

Day 87 - Pencil Holder? (Give) and Progress Towards "Katie"

Not sure what this thing is.  It's not a mug - the lip is flared and would make it impossible to drink without spilling the contents all over yourself.  I have some vague recollection of this thing holding pencils and pens on my oldest brother's desk in our childhood room.  I have no idea if it has any significance to him or not, but I'm not mailing it to him like the frog (Day 85) ... this thing is metal - I'm not paying postage for that! 

Goodwill can have it.

Also, an update on our progress toward Haiti.  As far as our long range plan of moving our family there August 2012, I had promised myself that if we got any snow days this week I would use the time to work on my application to OMS (for becoming a full-time missionary).  I hadn't worked on it since Black Friday when I filled out some of the forms as I sat on the floor of Walmart waiting to get this laptop I am currently typing on.  Well, I ended up with three days off from school last week because of the ice storm.  I took a bit of time to call a couple of friends to see if they would fill out the reference forms for me.  Melissa and I each have to have four references - a pastor, an employer and two non-family members who have known us for at least five years.  My small group leader (and friend!), Steve, agreed to do one for me and my old seminary roommate (and friend!), Tim, also agreed. 

And when it comes to our short range plan of getting our kids down to Haiti this summer, we also heard back from the field director in Haiti about what it would cost us to have our family there for a short term trip this summer.  It's typically $45 a day per person to cover food, housing and transportation costs, but he's going to count our family of six as just three persons. 

So we're starting to get an idea of what a two week trip will cost for the family:  $450 per person for flight from Florida to Haiti, about $100 per kid for passports, and $135 a day for the family while in Haiti.  Those are the major expenses, but of course there will be others.  For instance, we will have to drive ourselves down to Florida and back.  I'm also not sure how much of the kids' vaccination costs will be covered by insurance.  100% would be nice.

But I've already started a "Haiti Fund" that has some cash in it.  At the first of the year, Melissa and I threw some Christmas money in there.  Last week, a friend from church tried to sneak a couple of twenties into one of my bags as I was leaving Walmart.  When I caught him, he insisted I keep it ... for Haiti.  So I did.  Today I spent part of my day helping out a couple of friends from small group.  They had a painting project which involved high, vaulted ceilings and scaffolding.  I only went because Jeff's hands are too shaky to cut in paint along the ceiling edge 25 feet up and Karen was a bit nervous about climbing all that scaffolding.  I usually hate painting, but it's because it's so doggone boring.  But it's not so boring when you have to climb to paint.  They knew I wasn't expecting to be paid, but they generously offered a check ... for Haiti ... so I didn't turn it down. 

The field director suggested we come for just 5 to 7 days, but Melissa and I want to take the kids there for two weeks if we are going to go to all that expense to get down to Haiti and back.  He also suggested the end of July or beginning of August might be best.  He'd like for us to be there when there isn't a mission team already scheduled to be there.  We'd have to make it the end of July since school typically starts the middle of August and Melissa has kindergarten screenings and a lot of prep work before the school year even begins.

So at least as far as this summer goes, we've got an idea of costs, a bit of money being put aside, and some idea as to a target date.  Things are rolling!  The kids are excited.  The Princess (age 4) still cracks me up each time she calls Haiti "Katie"!

Day 86 - Vintage Star Wars Posters (Give)

At first I was going to let my kids enjoy these posters for a while before tossing them out, but then I got to thinking - it doesn't look good to have a bunch of ancient posters taped to the walls when you're staging a house to sell.  (Not that we've had anyone yet express interest in seeing the house!)

Then it occurred to me that I have a mega-Star Wars fan among my students this year.  Let's just call him Obi Wan for our purposes here.  Well, Obi Wan loves all things Star Wars - he will actually blurt out random Star Wars quotes in class.  Which is amusing.

Here is the only problem:  his love for Star Wars includes all six movies.  As if they are on equal footing!  I cannot allow such wrongheaded opinion to stand unchallenged!  Obi Wan and I have had numerous debates about the worthiness of Episodes 1, 2 and 3 - and, I am proud to say, I have made some headway.

Because I was a kid when the first Star Wars movie debuted (Episode 4 - A New Hope), I am one of those who loved the first three films and then was absolutely disgusted by the 3 prequels.  What beautiful, computer-generated garbage they are!  George Lucas produced three great movies and then turned into the Bride who goes all out on her hair, wedding dress and cake but puts no thought into the marriage ceremony itself. 

I hate to crush Obi Wan's enthusiasm for those three movies, but as an English teacher, I am compelled - by law! - to point out that all the special effects in the world can't replace PLOT and CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. 

And there's simply no excuse imaginable for Jar Jar Binks.

Anyway, maybe giving these posters to Obi Wan makes up a bit for bursting his Phantom Menace bubble.  Honestly, I have to tell you that his gratitude for the four or five posters I gave him was something to behold! He was beaming. He actually offered to pay me for them, but I refused.  And when I saw him leaving the building after school, he yelled his thanks down the hallway again.

Day 85 - Frog (Give ... Back)

This evil frog is a bank.  I found it in one of the boxes my younger brother Russ brought me from our childhood home.  So now it's in my possession.  But it's not mine. 

It took a long time of glancing repeatedly at that ugly thing (I tried not to look directly into its eyes) to kickstart my memory, but now I'm reasonably sure it belonged to my oldest brother, Ryan.

So I'm mailing it to him.  I didn't get him and his wife anything for Christmas (and they sent us a bread recipe book that Melissa has used several times already) so maybe I'll put a couple of quarters in before I seal the little devil in a box...  I'm sure Ryan will be so excited when this shows up at his door.

Day 84 - Records (Throw)

I found about twenty record albums in a crate.  When I pulled one out of its sleeve and showed it to the kids, their eyes got wide and they asked, "What is THAT?"  So I explained how - years and years ago - CDs were not shiny, but black, and they laid flat on a revolving table.  When I got to the part about the arm and the needle, they started looking at me with that expression they get before they ask, "Are you teasing us?"  (Or, as The Princess (age 4) says, "For REAL?")

I'm sure some of you are thinking, wow, a couple of dozen thirty-year-old records ... those have to be worth something.  He should Sell those!  First of all, they got wet somewhere along the way so the covers are ruined and they smell like mold.  Second, this is MY record collection, so there's nothing remotely "cool" or valuable in the entire stack.  There's no Pink Floyd or vintage Led Zeppelin here.  (Heck, I don't even know if I spelled "Zeppelin" right.)

Only THIS:

Which I believe is the diametric opposite of Pink Floyd...

And THIS:

Which epitomizes my musical tastes with the song "Happy Boy":

I was walkin' down the street on a sunny day
hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba
A feelin' in my bones says I'll have my way
hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba

Chorus:
Well, I'm a happy boy (happy boy)
Well, I'm a happy boy (happy boy)
Oh, ain't it good when things are goin' your way? Hey hey

My little dog, Spot got hit by a car
hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba
Put his guts in a box and put him in a drawer
hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba

(chorus)

I forgot all about it for a month and a half
hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba
I looked in the drawer and started to laugh
hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba

So, as you can see, my musical preferences were a bit ... off the beaten path.  Somewhere along the way - around Jr High School - my brothers and I discovered the Dr. Demento Show.  His show aired on an Indy station on Sunday nights from 8 to 10.  That meant I had to take a radio to bed with me and listen to pressed against my ear with the volume low if I wanted to hear the show all the way up to "The Funny Five" - the five most requested novelty songs of the week. 

We actually recorded the show on cassettes whenever we could and then compiled our own "best of" cassettes.  I saved up some money finally and bought an actual album:

This album includes such hits as:  Short People, Junk Food Junkie, My Bologna, Fish Heads, The Cockroach that Ate Cincinnati, King Tut, Dead Skunk, and the classic Dead Puppies (whose chorus contains the indisputable truth "Dead puppies aren't much fun").

And, of course, Dr. Demento was the one who introduced me (and the whole world) to the genius of 'Weird Al' Yankovic.

Albums by 'Weird Al' Yankovic, Steve Martin, National Lampoon and Ray Stevens...

I also discovered Ray Stevens - who had been around for quite a while already and is still going strong today.

So there you go... more fodder for the landfill.  I hesitated over tossing many of these albums (and I do plan to take a couple of the Weird Al records to school, cuz I bet I can find a kid who would want them), but in the end it started to sink in to me:  with the advances in technology, if I really want to listen to any of these albums again (and that's a big IF for many of these), I am sure I can find them on-line any time I want.

And probably sounding much better than I could get with my records on a turntable - if I could even find one that still works.

Day 83 - Hairbows for Haiti (Give)

We were stranded at home today (like 100 million others) by the "historic" snow and ice storm.  We've just had the ice part of it.  The trees are starting to lose some branches and Melissa swears she is seeing our lights flicker now and then.  The kids are all hoping the power goes out because Melissa made the mistake of telling them that if the power goes, we might just have to invite ourselves over to Steve and Keri's house.  They have a fireplace and a kerosene heater and are within walking distance.  Melissa and I are thinking survival ... our kids are thinking Monster Slumber Party with Steve and Keri's four kids.  Dats (age 9) wants a schedule:  "If the power goes out, when do you think that will be?" 

Of course, Melissa and I were going to get all sorts of things done today.  Reality fell short of expectations.  Steve's accomplishments:  showered, cut fingernails, carried on a political argument on Facebook, stayed awake throughout a family viewing of "Nanny McPhee Returns", made homemade lemonade, and caught up on my blog writing (assuming I do finish this entry).  Melissa's accomplishments:  showered, cooked chicken-fried chicken and mashed potatoes for dinner, checked the weather repeatedly, endured wallering by The Princess (age 4) throughout "Nanny McPhee Returns", and sorted through the girls' hairbow collection. 

The extra hairbows are to be given away.  If we can keep track of them for the next several months, we'll take them to Haiti with us this summer to give away.  The little girls there LOVE their hairbows. 

By the way, "Nanny McPhee Returns" was pretty decent.  The moral of the story, as I saw it (through half open eyes), was that a family doesn't need Nanny McPhee and her magic once Dad comes home...  Good message.

Day 82 - Chunk of Carpet from my Boyhood Bedroom (Throw ... Sadly)

This is one of the few momentos from my childhood that I remember holding onto. I knew it was around here somewhere, I just wasn't sure what box it was in.  My oldest brother, Ryan, and I shared a bedroom as kids.  There was his side and there was my side and I was strictly forbidden to cross over to his side - even when he went off to college.  (On weekends home from Purdue he would carefully inspect his side of the room for evidence that I had trespassed.)

Once we were both out of the house, my parents turned it into the guest bedroom.  They painted over the robin's egg blue walls (still my favorite color), tore down the bed my Dad had made for us, tore up the carpet and then proceeded to make the room all girly instead. 

I must have caught them in the act because I managed to snag a piece of the old carpet before they threw it out.  I saved it because I'm sentimental like that (not "girly" as my wife calls it) ... and because it was unique carpet, at least for a bedroom.  I was too young to remember the circumstances of its installation, but it didn't take me too long to figure out that it was outdoor carpet.  My family was far from rich and outdoor carpet was a lot cheaper and SO much more durable!

It's not like I have particularly happy memories associated with the carpet itself.  Just the opposite.  There was no padding beneath it and it inflicted MONSTER rug burns!  I mean, you didn't even have to go sliding on your knees to get a burn - just crawling around on all fours without the benefit of jeans was enough to draw blood!  Outdoor carpet like this is slightly softer than your average cheese grater.

So why did I keep my little square of sadistic floor covering all these years? 

I guess that's what psychoanalysts are for.

But I threw it away last night ...

Well ... not all of it.  When the moment of truth came, I couldn't bring myself to toss it in the trash can.  Then I realized that I didn't really have to throw it all away ... just most of it.  So I cut out a two inch by two inch square to keep. 

It doesn't take up much space.

Anybody got the number of a good psychoanalyst?