I KNOW NOW WHAT NOT TO DO

"The Amateur does not know what to do. The Master knows what not to do."

That little thought from James Clear seems appropriate for the new year, which brings at least one major shift for me.

This feels a little embarrassing to announce here - after investing the past five years in this process and writing about it often on this blog recently - but I have decided to discontinue my doctorate studies, at least as an official degree program. 

If you have been marking the time, I have been dragging my feet on writing my formal dissertation for over two years now. I have realized it might well be caused by my not knowing what to do.

To be clear, I had a pretty good idea of where I wanted to go with my project. What I didn't have - it turns out - is the will to write up a couple hundred pages of academic ruminations. And then footnote all of it. 

After some recent negative feedback from my professor, I found myself at a fork in the road: Do I double down in effort, figure out my academic nuts and bolts, and sludge on toward the finish line? Or do I let go of the degree itself and freely experiment with the ideas that have been percolating?

I pictured 2026 in both directions and, admittedly, chose the easier path. (And my Christmas "break" was much more joyful for it, considering my next big assignment was to be submitted on January 2nd.)

But I think it will also be the most productive path ultimately. 

And this might sound like sour grapes, but the official degree and title was never a huge motivator for me. The idea of being 57 years old and spending hundreds of hours of the next year of my life researching and writing an academic paper to be stored on a library shelf in perpetuity just didn't excite me enough to go for it. 

So here's to freely experimenting in 2026! 

I will remain an Amateur when it comes to academia, but I still hope to become a Master at life and ministry.