TRIP ANTICIPATION

Last year at this time, I started making plans for an anniversary trip to Scotland. The anticipation put a joyful spin on every passing week. Working out the details and making reservations - and even making payments along the way - were all a joy, because each step brought the reality closer.

The promise of that trip energized me on a weekly basis. It was never absent from my consciousness. 

And when July finally arrived, the whole thing came together even better than I had hoped.

This year I am feeling a similar excitement about planning a very different trip.

God willing, this July I will be taking a group of high school and college students with me to Ghana, West Africa. (And hopefully a parent or two will join us.)

So far I have at least four teens who are seriously interested: two gals and two guys. 

Among the young ladies is my daughter, Sarah - and how awesome will that be? 

A couple of the teens from Sardinia Baptist are also interested and I couldn't be more excited. As one who knows firsthand the way God can move through a mission trip, the anticipation of what the Lord might accomplish during this trip already has me on the edge of my seat. 

Would you pray for us as this team comes together? I would much appreciate it.

And if you want to join us, let's talk!

A CHILDISH THING?

Our youngest turned 19 last Friday. 

A few weeks ago, Sarah had almost decided that it was time to leave behind the days of birthday parties with elaborate themes and decorations. Ready to embark on her final year as a teenager, maybe this year she should just invite some friends over for a quiet dinner and some cake.

Melissa assured her that parties were fun, not childish, and the next thing you know, Amazon boxes full of party favors, crafts and decorations were arriving on our front step daily, and Sarah was spending hours in her room making colorful chains from strips of construction paper and tiaras out of felt. 

The party theme was based on the children's book Fancy Nancy and so everything was to be glitzy and over the top.

I contributed the cake. Melissa made gobs of cheesy potatoes per the birthday girl's request. Sarah and her friends all donned their most outrageous dresses, highest heels, and gaudiest costume jewelry and made an evening out of eating sugar, bejeweling crafts, and filming Tik Tok videos. 

We all had an awesome time.

To my shame, I have to admit that, originally, I had been on the side of "putting childish things behind". Why bother with the effort and expense of balloons and confetti? 

But my daughter reminded me of something important: 

Life is an amazing gift and taking joy in it is NOT a childish thing. 

I am already looking forward to her 20th!

WHAT ARE WE SAVED FROM?

When we speak of "salvation", what do we mean exactly? What are we saved from?

Even non-Christians know this much: Jesus saves people from hell.

Right?

Even though I know the Bible never uses the phrase "saved from hell", I wondered what AI would say if I asked, "Does the Bible ever say we are saved from hell?"

Considering the AI is simply regurgitating what actual human beings have written, the incredibly weak reasoning on the part of online Christian "apologists" is quite evident: 4 key verses to demonstrate salvation from hell and not a single one mentions hell. 

These 4 verses would be more fitting as answers to the question, "What does the Bible say about human beings being saved from DEATH?" 

FASTING AND STRENGTH - DATA

Since I posted about my weight loss with my 7-day water fast, I thought I would also share one other relevant data set: my ability to perform push-ups.

And this is kind of nerdy, but it does prove a point about fasting.

When I started my fast, Melissa assumed that I would feel weak and tired immediately, and that each day I would drag a little bit more. She also feared that I would lose muscle mass. 

Those seem like solid assumptions, right?

In reality, though, if my general energy level saw any change, it was only for the better. I was more awake and alert and got more work done.

And there was no muscle loss.

Each morning for over a year now, I have begun my day with three sets of push-ups. I don't try for a specific number with each set, only that I push through until I can't do any more. After my first set, I go brush my teeth and shave, then do the second set, then shower, followed by the third set. I record the numbers in my daily calendar. (Tracking progress is a good incentive to keep up a habit.) 

I graphed the daily sets from before, during, and after the 7-day fast and here's what it looked like:

The interesting thing about the graph is that it shows no significant loss of numbers in the first set of push-ups, but when it comes to the second and third sets, there's a steep drop off starting at Day4/5.

So I lost some endurance strength temporarily, but I didn't lose any muscle mass - recovery was pretty immediate as soon as I resumed eating.

POST-FAST BOUNCE - THE DATA

The church season of Lent is quickly approaching - it begins on Ash Wednesday, February 18th.

Lent is the one time of year when the spiritual discipline of fasting gets at least a bit of attention. (But still only a fraction of what it deserves.)

I started January with a full-on water fast for seven days and it was an incredible experience. The number one thing it taught me was that I look to food far more often for entertainment than nutrition. 

(I still haven't figured out a good substitute for snacking when I get bored. Grabbing some chips or a cookie is just too easy, while all other alternatives take effort and discipline.)

I was curious what my weight would look like over the course of the fast, so I tracked it each morning. Now that I am a full week past the end of my fast, it is worth looking at the pattern.

Here's a graph of my weight loss and bounce:

That 194 in the center was the day after I broke my fast. I knew I would bounce back some, but I was surprised to see my weight jump back up a full 7 pounds in just five days. 

Now I am glad to see a new descent has started. 

It is slower and gentler than my water fast, of course, but still welcome. I am fairly certain this new descent would not exist at all if I had not joined Melissa in her sugar fast. I am guessing my weight likely would have crept right back up to 206 if I had immediately gone back to my old eating habits.

We have one more week on the sugar fast and then I am not sure what comes next. But I can't go back to eating like I was eating.

All I know is that Sarah's birthday yesterday - with its big strawberry cake with buttercream frosting - gave me an excuse to cheat just a bit and now tonight I am feeling so sleepy I can hardly function.

Coincidence?

READY TO FAIL

"If you meet someone who says they’ve never failed, it means they’ve never tried to do something new, difficult, or outside their comfort zone. And that means they cannot be wise." - Jonny Thomson*

Like most human beings I know, I have a natural aversion to failure. To me, failure is the unforgiveable sin. 

I don't want to look foolish. I don't want to be reminded of my imperfections.

Maybe most of all, I don't want the world to be made conscious of my imperfections. 

After Christmas, inspired by artwork from my daughter, Hannah, I decided I wanted to try my hand at painting with watercolors. 

I absolutely love the look of watercolor as a medium, but I had never tried it - it looked too difficult to control. 

Throughout my life, my artistic endeavors have tended to end up stiff and lifeless. 

So maybe a less predictable medium is just what I need.  

I have done the easy part: I have bought all the supplies.

Now I just need to mentally prepare to fail repeatedly at putting paint on paper. 

*To become wiser, society must relearn how to fail - Big Think

A GREAT BOOK WITH A BAD TITLE

In 2019, Scott Adams published Loserthink: How Untrained Brains are Ruining the World. I don't think it ever really took off. He even mentioned his disappointment in the book's performance in his final statement to the world upon his death!

I think the problem was the title. A book like this should spread through word of mouth, but it's difficult to recommend a book called Loserthink to someone you care about. 

Plus, Adams was incessantly optimistic and the book reflects that optimism, but the subtitle comes across so negative.

It's a shame, because the book is insightful. I found it incredibly valuable for life and ministry.  

Today I want to pass along a recommendation from Adams located near the end of that book. The reading list he suggested there was worth the price I paid for Loserthink. (Especially the first two books.)

Here's what Adams wrote:

"If you want to understand the world as it is, instead of the myth of human rationality, any one of these books will set you free. I recommend reading them in this order:

Influence - by Robert Cialdini

The Power of Habit - by Charles Duhigg

Thinking, Fast and Slow - by Daniel Kahneman

Win Bigly - by Scott Adams"

Do it - your mind will be blown. 

SCOTT ADAMS HAS PASSED AND THE WORLD IS POORER

Even though I knew it was coming, it hit me harder than expected to hear of Scott Adams' death today.

If the name doesn't ring a bell, Adams was best known for creating Dilbert, the comic strip famous for mocking corporate cubicle life. 

In recent years, though, he had taken on additional roles - as an author, a political and cultural commentator, and an "internet dad". He was also a trained hypnotist and a world class pot-stirrer. 

Among secular writers, there is no contemporary non-fiction author who has had a bigger impact on shaping my own understanding of human nature. 

It was Adams who opened my eyes to perhaps the single greatest insight of my adult life. 

I can't locate it tonight, but in one of his books, Adams pointed out that we tend to think of human beings as being 90% rational and about 10% illogical. 

But according to Adams, the truth is the exact opposite: We (yes, even you and me!) are 90% emotional/illogical and MAYBE 10% rational. And we are only rational about stuff that doesn't touch our emotions directly.

When I read those words, I knew in my gut that Adams was right. 

I was completely unnerved, but I also felt like I had just been handed the key to one of life's greatest mysteries. 

Five years later, I am still unpacking all the ramifications.

Tonight I feel the urge to reread a couple of Scott Adams books. 

BOUNCING BACK

I knew my weight would bounce back up a few pounds once I ended my fast. 

There are at least three reasons:

1. You gain back some water weight once you start eating again.
2. You've once again got a gut full of food your body is processing whereas it was completely empty for a while.
3. Your body decides the famine has ended and you'd better stock up on calories in preparation for the next one. The urge to snack and overeat is strong.

On the final day of my fast, I weighed 192 in the morning. The next day - after having eaten a single meal - I was up to 194.2. That's the water weight coming back strong.

On the following day I was at 196, then 196.8 the next day, and this morning reached 198! 

Who knows where I would be if I wasn't trying to stick to Melissa's sugar fast?

I have been snacking up a storm the last few days, never feeling satisfied. I suppose what I have really craved is sugar. 

Something broke today, though. Perhaps my body gave up hope of getting the sugar it wants. 

I didn't really feel hungry until noon and then I had a spinach salad and felt pretty satisfied. Melissa made a tasty faux-potato soup for dinner. (Cauliflower stood in for the taters.) 

The best part was that my brain felt pretty fog-free and - the most amazing thing - I didn't crave an afternoon nap. 

This is huge. 

If I have to give up donuts and cookies and ice cream to gain daily mental clarity and energy, I am more than ready to do it. 

Probably.

WHAT WAS IN THAT?

Fasting has left me more attentive to the food - and "food" - that I am putting in my body and what sort of immediate and long-term effects it may have.

Take last night, for instance. 

Since it was Sarah's final night of Christmas break before heading back to college, she requested we all watch a movie together. 

So we settled in together on the basement couch and I decided - being shut out from all normal movie snacks by the ongoing sugar fast - to make myself a decaf coffee and sweeten it with some sugar-free "mocha" syrup that has been sitting on our kitchen counter for a couple of months. (Apparently, neither Melissa nor I was too crazy about the stuff after it first got opened, but neither had bothered to throw it away.) 

My coffee wasn't all that appealing, but I drank it anyway figuring my tastebuds were just disappointed at not having some popcorn or cookies.

When I hit the bed a couple of hours later, I knew immediately that sleep was not going to come easily.

Typically, I am asleep within two minutes. It's one of my superpowers.

But last night I tossed for twenty minutes before falling immediately into some truly bizarre dreams, only to regain consciousness within the first hour.

The next hour was unlike anything I have experienced. Although I was (mostly) awake, my brain continued producing dream images that were complex, with lots of small, moving parts. And each image would quickly morph into some other image - all AI-like. 

I tried praying but found it impossible to "look away" from the images and their movements.

Finally, at midnight, I pulled myself out of bed, stumbled up to the kitchen and took some Nyquil to knock myself out.

This morning I picked up that bottle of sugar-free sweetener and read the ingredients with bleary eyes, looking for any possible explanation for my bizarre night. Nothing too unusual listed: it was sweetened with stevia and monk fruit.

But then I read these words I had not noticed before: "Refrigerate after opening." 

I dumped what was left in the bottle and tossed it in recycling. 

FASTING AFTERMATH

After breaking my fast at a Mexican restaurant last night - (not recommended!) - my weight bounced back up two pounds this morning: 192 yesterday to 194 today.

I was actually surprised it wasn't more. 

On the bright side, my push-up numbers started to make a comeback, though not all the way yet. 

I wanted to eat everything today. As I anticipated, committing to joining Melissa in her sugar fast had to save me a thousand extra calories today - especially since there are still Christmas sweets around on the kitchen counter and I have a drawer full of chocolates in my home office. I even managed to say no to free donuts (my favorite kind!) at a Chamber event this morning. 

My mind was still relatively sharp today. I drank some electrolytes in the afternoon and continued to avoid coffee (and caffeine in general) to keep it that way. 

I spent the morning nibbling on various things but after lunch I decided to commit to making sure I was genuinely hungry by dinner time. This created a bit of afternoon boredom - but I know better how to deal with it now while avoiding finding entertainment in snacks. 

Overall, the fast reoriented my relationship with food in very positive ways. I will be curious to see if I drop another couple of pounds over the next two weeks of the sugar fast. 

FASTING EXPERIENCE - DAY 7

I have made it to the end of my weeklong fast. Today there was a lot of temptation to quit early. 

In a sense, I did quit a little early. I had intended to wait until tomorrow morning to eat, but technically, my week ended this evening. So, considering that Melissa had driven separately to the funeral home about 90 minutes behind me, it seemed silly to have her drive the hour back home before eating dinner, so we had an impromptu date night. It was already 7:00 pm. 

We stopped together at a local Mexican restaurant.

That might have been a mistake. I managed to stick to her sugar fast - no chips, cheese or tortillas - but I overate like I typically do at a Mexican restaurant. (Or perhaps my stomach shrank a bit temporarily!) 

Anyway, I am home now and feeling crazy sleepy, so I will keep this short.

I weighed in at 192.2 this morning after starting at 206 pre-fast. I will be curious what the scale says tomorrow after that meal tonight and how far I bounce back up over the next few days. 

I am glad Melissa is running this sugar fast because after tonight it seems pretty clear that I would be likely to just fall back into old habits immediately otherwise. 

Looking forward to tomorrow! 

FASTING EXPERIENCE - DAY 6

I think today was the easiest day yet - hardly any hunger pains and plenty of energy still. I think starting on electrolytes yesterday made a big difference.

My pushup count was down even more, but I was able to go on a two mile walk this morning without getting tired.

Mentally clarity is still high. That's good considering all that I have had on my plate this week. Some important things might have slipped through the cracks otherwise.

What is most surprising is that I didn't even feel like napping today. Most days, after lunch, I can hardly keep my eyes open. You would think that I would have less energy and want to sleep more.

And since it was no problem staying alert through the church meeting tonight, I feel confident that I can continue the fast all the way through tomorrow night without fear of messing up anything at the funeral. In fact, I am certain I will be sharper than I would be after a day of snacking on junk food. 

My weight this morning was 193.4 - only a single pound decrease. That's not as big of a jump as previous days, but I will still take it. 

FASTING EXPERIENCE - DAY 5

I definitely felt more sluggish today - not sleepy, but physically spent.

I was still able to do my morning push-ups, but by the third set, I could barely get 31 where I usually hit 50 or more. Melissa and I went for a mile-and-a-half walk in the evening with no problem though. 

This morning's weigh-in was 194.2. (Starting weight was 205.2, though I had been hitting 206 and 207 some mornings prior to starting the fast.)

The improvement in my thinking is unmistakable. My body is sluggish, but my brain is not. I felt like I got a lot accomplished today. 

In the evening, I bought myself an electrolyte drink because I have heard that longer term fasting can throw off electrolytes. It perked me up a bit physically and helped me get a few more things done before bed.

The biggest change today was in my level of hunger and my willpower. Hunger went up and willpower began to slip!

Periodic hunger pains came stronger than they have since the first two days. And, simultaneously, my confidence in finishing all seven days began to wane. Melissa cooked a really appealing dinner and then started frying some bacon for egg cups to be ready for the morning. Those are part of her sugar fast, and I want one real bad. 

I had to go to the basement.

Willpower typically resets in the mornings, so I will get to bed early tonight and tomorrow will be a new start. 

I've got a church board meeting tomorrow night (day 6) and I am officiating a funeral on Thursday evening (day 7). I need to be at the top of my game for both - especially the funeral, obviously - and I can't decide if the "top" would be remaining in the fasting state or breaking the fast. 

My intention was always to break the fast on Friday, and it still is. But the funeral was not on my calendar when I started. I will only break early if it seems like I won't be able to perform to the best of my abilities at the funeral home. 

FASTING EXPERIENCE - DAY 4

Day Four maintained the mental clarity, and I didn't feel terribly sleepy by midday even though I had been awake at 3:30 am for about 90 minutes before falling back to sleep.

The boredom is getting to me a bit. There is nothing that can slow down time more than deciding to go without eating. It's like waiting for Christmas when you're a kid. 

But I am over the hump. Day four is drawing to a close and that means I am on the downside now. I have no doubt I can do another three days.

I did have a little less energy today, but I was able to do my usual morning push-ups and later I took the dog for a mile-and-a-half walk during the afternoon while the weather was good. 

FASTING EXPERIENCE - DAY 3

(Sunday, Jan 4, 2026. I forgot my laptop at church this morning so I am writing this on paper so that I can keep my daily writing habit going. I will transfer it to the blog tomorrow when I get it back.)

As I write here about my fasting experience, I realize that it could come across like I'm boasting about something which Jesus told us to do "in secret". 

That's not my intention. My purpose for writing about this here is, first, for myself - to record and process the experience - and, second, for others - to encourage more believers to give fasting a try. 

It's something that gets a little easier each time you do it.

My present fast is mainly for physical benefits. (But fasting always has a spiritual dimension to it.)

I have been putting on weight at a slow but steady pace for the last five years. I started this fast Friday at 205.2 lbs. That's the most I have weighed since I hit my peak weight of 220 in the early 2000s. My lowest in that timeframe came while we lived in Haiti, where snack food was hard to come by. I remember hitting 170 there for a while. 

But none of that was muscle. I've built up a tiny bit of muscle since then and would be glad to be in the 180-185 range again. Mainly because I think that is a weight which would signal I am eating healthy again. 

My other physical motivation for this fast is a near constant experience of "brain fog". 

For the past five years, coinciding with my weight gain, I've had a daily, general sleepiness and a haziness in my thinking. And I think it has slowly grown worse.

I strongly suspect this is tied to my diet, but I don't know if there is one specific culprit - sugar? caffeine? some additive? - or if my problem is eating a Standard American Diet in general. 

(Or, worst case scenario, it's just my age.)

So, 3 days in, here's my experience on both fronts.

First, weight loss. 

1st Morning (Friday) - 205.2

2nd Morning - 201.2

3rd Morning - 198.4

That's progress, but keep in mind that at least 3 pounds of what I have lost so far is merely water weight. I was up several times that first night to visit the restroom. So I know I haven't actually lost a true 7 pounds in 3 days. 

I've heard it's possible to lose 20 lbs in a week of fasting, so I'm curious how much I will truly drop when all is said and done.

As far as the brain fog goes, the first two days I was pretty headachy and a bit restless. So I don't know if there was any immediate improvement. But this morning I woke up 3 minutes before my alarm sounded and felt NOTICEABLY clearer in mind. (And that's a helpful thing for preaching.)

Tomorrow is day 4 and a workday, so it should be interesting. I don't think I have actually fasted beyond 3 days since my time at Asbury, where I was first introduced to fasting and joined a friend in a 7 day fast. That was in the late 90s.

As for hunger these past 3 days, it hasn't been a huge problem. More of an inconvenience. The bigger issue for me is boredom. I think most of my eating is for entertainment rather than nutrition. 

2026 RESOLUTIONS

I am one of those oddballs who love setting resolutions in January.

And I also tend to be among the few who actually keep them. I suppose knowing something about the mechanics of habit formation gives me a leg up, but I also just love experimentation and giving myself some extra challenges.

It sharpens self-discipline muscles. And our culture undervalues self-discipline at the moment. 

Last year I resolved to do push-ups daily - at least 100 every morning.

It became a part of my routine, and I kept it going throughout the year even though it got interrupted by my hernia operation in October. I am currently doing between 160 and 180 each morning. 

This year I am planning to continue the push-ups, continue writing here daily, and then add a renewed focus on daily prayer and some sort of regular fasting habit - though I am not sure if that will be intermittent fasting or occasional one- or two-day water fasts. 

Yesterday (Jan 2), Melissa started a sugar fast that she intends to run for three weeks. I'm going to join her eventually, but I am starting the new year with an extended water fast. 

I am two days in and my goal is seven.

If you've never fasted ... yes, it can be uncomfortable.

But it's also fascinating. I always learn a lot - about myself, my body, and my relationship with food.

And learning something important is a great way to start a new year!

JESUS' EASIEST COMMANDMENT

Matthew 6:5 “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others."

Of all Jesus' commandments, this has to be the easiest for modern American Christians to obey.

Nobody's praying to be seen. It's hard to find someone willing to pray in public!

Why are we so bashful about public prayer? Is it because we don't have enough experience in praying to feel confident in front of others that we are "doing it right"?

I've only known one person who "prayed like the hypocrites" prayed. She was the pastor's wife at the United Methodist church I served in Iowa. And she was a piece of work. 

More than once I heard her explain to a group of church members, "Sometimes I am walking downtown and I am just so overwhelmed with gratitude to God that I just have to kneel down right there on the sidewalk and put my hands in the air and pray. People stop and stare, but I don't care."  

I've never met another like her. 

But I wonder which Jesus would consider to be worse: Praying like the hypocrites or not praying at all?

I KNOW NOW WHAT NOT TO DO

"The Amateur does not know what to do. The Master knows what not to do."

That little thought from James Clear seems appropriate for the new year, which brings at least one major shift for me.

This feels a little embarrassing to announce here - after investing the past five years in this process and writing about it often on this blog recently - but I have decided to discontinue my doctorate studies, at least as an official degree program. 

If you have been marking the time, I have been dragging my feet on writing my formal dissertation for over two years now. I have realized it might well be caused by my not knowing what to do.

To be clear, I had a pretty good idea of where I wanted to go with my project. What I didn't have - it turns out - is the will to write up a couple hundred pages of academic ruminations. And then footnote all of it. 

After some recent negative feedback from my professor, I found myself at a fork in the road: Do I double down in effort, figure out my academic nuts and bolts, and sludge on toward the finish line? Or do I let go of the degree itself and freely experiment with the ideas that have been percolating?

I pictured 2026 in both directions and, admittedly, chose the easier path. (And my Christmas "break" was much more joyful for it, considering my next big assignment was to be submitted on January 2nd.)

But I think it will also be the most productive path ultimately. 

And this might sound like sour grapes, but the official degree and title was never a huge motivator for me. The idea of being 57 years old and spending hundreds of hours of the next year of my life researching and writing an academic paper to be stored on a library shelf in perpetuity just didn't excite me enough to go for it. 

So here's to freely experimenting in 2026! 

I will remain an Amateur when it comes to academia, but I still hope to become a Master at life and ministry.