NEW HABITS COMING

I am on a recent reading kick and my new obsession is books about habits - how to kick bad habits, yes, but mainly how to start good ones. 

It's natural for me at this point in the summer (my first official day is this coming Wednesday) to feel deep regret over not having used my time wisely over the last two months. I had so many projects on my list at the beginning of the summer. 

And so few have been crossed off. 

But I've come to the even sadder conclusion that it is not just my summers. I have wasted too much time in general through procrastination and lack of focus. 

If I am going to continue teaching (and do it effectively) while going back to school (and keep good grades) while not neglecting my family, I need to get much more disciplined with my time. 

My studies will not start until October 1, so I have the next two months to get on a secure footing with my 8th graders and to start some healthy time management habits before those habits will be put to the test.

Throughout August and September, I plan to experiment on myself with what I have learned from the books. 

And if what I have learned proves to be true, I promise to gladly pass the "secrets" along to you!

ASSUMPTIONS

Yesterday I mentioned a nationwide toxic negativity that is pervading our society. Want a good example of where those negative assumptions can lead?

A waitress I know (very well!) told this story just a few days ago:

She was juggling several tables during a busy time for the restaurant. At one of these tables sat a sweet and kind older couple. The man was black and the woman was white - a detail I include only because it is relevant to the story.

Between taking orders and delivering food, the waitress made happy small talk with the two customers. (She's a friendly person and she likes people - it's not just for tips!) 

Before she figured up the bill, she politely asked them, "Will this be on one check or two?"

Something changed. The couple glared at the waitress. There was an uncomfortable silence for several seconds. Finally the man dismissively blurted out, "Just bring me the bill."

The waitress was shocked. She had thought the couple had enjoyed their food and their experience and she wondered, "What just happened?"

Still bothered and scratching her head a few hours later, the waitress mentioned the odd interaction to her manager.

The manager, who had been working the cash register when this couple came up to pay their bill, solved the mystery. The couple left their table obviously worked up. The man told the manager that they were upset by the racist attitude of their server!

His complaint? That the waitress "would not have asked if they wanted separate bills if I were a white man!"

The manager explained that the wait staff was trained to always ask that very question because, surprisingly, the majority of customers ask for split bills, even among couples. Assumptions of "one check" often lead to extra time and effort at the point when a customer is ready to get going. 

The man calmed down and, to his credit, said to the manager, "Oh ... maybe I overreacted just a bit?"

Now, I know America is not perfect. And I know that there are bonified racists in our midst. And I have no doubt that this man has faced his share of racism throughout his lifetime. But I do have to wonder ...

Of all the racism he has encountered, how much has been imaginary?

WHEN GREENER GRASS IS TOXIC

It has often perplexed me to hear students in my current school gripe, complain and run the school down because it is "too small" or "too rural". It's "lame". Some students daily mourn, "I wish I could go to Columbus North or Columbus East" - the significantly larger schools in the city.

These students honestly cannot think of a single good thing to say about their own school. Literally - I have asked them and they cannot come up with a single positive point in our school's favor. 

The sad part is that this attitude completely poisons their day to day experience at school. They simply do not have the eyes to see our small class sizes, our family atmosphere, our more individualized care, or any of the great things happening at our school. 

Those things are simply invisible.

In their imagination, absolutely EVERYTHING is better somewhere else. Our school is apparently unique at failing on every level possible!

Don't expect to find these students exercising any school spirit or taking advantage of what IS being offered. Their experience of school is pure drudgery.

Thankfully, it tends to be a relatively small portion of the student body exercising this unwarranted negativity. But it still infects the school. It interferes with what could and should be happening in the classroom. 

It seems to me the same thing can happen on a national level ... and IS happening these days in the United States. 

DEMOLITION

Started another project after dinner tonight. This time in the backyard. 

Our play structure used to see a lot of action, but now it just looks neglected. The wood is rotting and the whole thing is held together by rusty nails and screws.

When we first moved into the house, I spent some time and money sprucing it up. It was gray, like the rest of the house. I painted it all, added a sandbox, and draped a brightly colored canopy over the tallest part. 

But now it is showing the neglect of the last ten years.

Instead of taking the sawzall to it, I decided to take it apart piece by piece and remove the nails and screws as I went.

Surprisingly, this demolition project stirred up some anger - mostly muted these days - regarding events of the past year and our departure from Haiti.

I kept thinking: How incredibly easy it is to tear something down. It's even kind of fun. And fast! What took weeks to build can be brought down in an evening. What takes years to build can be leveled in weeks or months. 

For myself, I resolved anew that, with God's help, I will not spend my time on this planet tearing down other people or their work.

I pulled the nails and screws tonight so that I can repurpose this wood. 

Instead of throwing it on a fire or hauling it to the dump, I plan to take what is left on the ground after the destruction and perhaps make it into something useful.

Maybe even into something beautiful. 

BENEFICENCE

One Ball State landmark really caught my imagination when Melissa and Samuel and I visited the campus a few weeks ago. It is the statue of an angel named Beneficence, i.e. "charity or the doing of good". 

Beneficence was completed in 1937 by sculptor Daniel Chester French, more widely known for creating the statue of Abraham Lincoln sitting in the Lincoln Memorial in D.C.

She was created to honor the legacy of the 5 Ball brothers whose jar industry gave them the means to financially found the university years ago. 

The five columns represent the brothers, but she herself represents education as an ideal.

As a teacher, I love the imagery: With her right hand she beckons anyone who would come to her and in her left hand she holds a box of unknown treasures!

Oh, that my own students would have the eyes to recognize the value of that treasure!

Cultures are like human beings - On one level they have tons of similarities, but what keeps things interesting is that each one has a  unique set of strengths and weaknesses and personality quirks.

I put Maxiane on the spot over lunch one day this past week. I asked, "I know you spent significant time around Americans while growing up in Haiti, but now that you've spent seven months immersed in American culture, what do you like most about it and what do you like least about it? Speak freely - I can take it." 

She didn't really have to think long. She started with the positive: "The thing I like is how organized things are here." She was talking about everything from events at her college to traffic laws. 

And the downside? "Americans make a big deal out of everything!" Here she had in mind our tendency to take offense and get up in arms at even the smallest of slights. She also could not believe how lightly words like "racist" get thrown around. 

I told her I agreed completely and that it struck me as a relatively recent development. Or at least it has grown significantly worse in the last decade or so. 

PAST TEACHER GRIPES

My parents worked countless hours building a hardware store from scratch. When I was a kid, I was unaware of how many sleepless nights they experienced because of financial worries. 

I was, however, aware of the opportunity, about once every other year, for our family to take a week long vacation to South Dakota, where my father had grown up. 

On the flip side, though, outside of Christmas and Easter when the store was closed completely, holidays were always family work days: the regular employees tended to want those days off and would have to be paid time and a half if they did work. (Which my parents really couldn't afford.) So my brothers and I would be pressed into duty.

At the local high school there was a sweet married couple; the husband taught social studies and the wife taught math. My brothers and I all had these two in class and benefited greatly from their teaching. They knew our family.

One day the social studies teacher was in my parents' store to do a bit of shopping. He got to griping to my dad about how poorly paid teachers were. Not finding tons of sympathy for his suffering, this man finally protested, "Well, how would you like it if you and your wife were forced to get by on a combined income around $50,000?!"

My dad just smiled and said, "I would be absolutely ecstatic if Carla and I were able to earn that much each year!"

TEACHER GRIPES

At this point on the calendar, it is common to hear teachers begin to gripe about how quickly the summer is passing. 

I caught myself bemoaning the "end of summer" today. (Classes start for me on August 5th.)

I was going to post this photo on Instagram with a caption like "My mood as July comes to and end". 

Then I remembered that I am wrapping up TWO FULL MONTHS off of work (except for 30 hours I put into summer school across the month of June). And I also remembered that my wife - like the vast majority of workers I know - has struggled to find a way to take off a single day here and there all year long so far. 

And I felt guilty.

And grateful for getting so much time away from work pressures. 

Maybe teachers complain too much. After all, getting summers and every major holiday off - what other job offers that kind of fringe benefit?

UNEXPECTED COLLEGE REQUIREMENT

Yesterday, July 22nd, I received an email from the president of Wabash College informing us that the school would be requiring all students to receive a Covid vaccination this fall. 

Caleb is currently on an extended outing with his company during basic training in Kentucky. I doubt he will hear of this until a few days from now. And then he won't have time to respond to it in any way until after his training ends on August 5th. 

Classes start a month from now. When I complained that the short notice was irresponsible, a representative from Wabash reassured me that it was ok if my son only had time to get the first of two shots before classes started - he would be allowed to get the second after he arrives on campus.

OK, but what if he doesn't want to be forced into taking EITHER shot? What then? Does he have time to enroll in some other college at this point? 

The answer is no.

Since the college is requiring all their staff and faculty to also get vaccinated, who exactly are they trying to protect by strong arming students into vaccination? 

The whole thing has the stench of paternalism to it. 

"This is for your own good." 

But is it? 

He's a healthy 20 year old. How about the college allow him to do his own risk management?

STILL UNDECIDED

When I was in seminary I had a suitemate who had a simple litmus test for true Christianity: If you didn't believe that the Creation happened in six literal days as related in the first chapters of Genesis, you simply were not a real Christian.

I wasn't so sure that he was right about the literal days, but I didn't want to debate him and risk exposing myself as a heretic.

Today we visited the Ark Encounter. That's Ken Hamm's elaborate recreation of Noah's Ark on a Kentucky hill. 

I don't know that Hamm would agree with my seminary friend about it being a litmus test of true faith per se, but he unapologetically espouses a strictly literal reading of Genesis and the rest of Scripture. 

I will confess to going into the Ark with many reservations - not really knowing what to expect and fearing it might be cheesy. I left with a feeling of respect for the effort and an appreciation for the work and thought put into the project.

Still not convinced that Genesis requires a literal reading across the board though. 

A TROOPER

I love Maxiane's spirit. Yesterday morning, we mentioned that our friends, the Hollands, had offered to take us out on their boat in the evening if we thought Maxiane would enjoy it. 

Here was my conversation with her about the plan around mid-morning: 

Me: The Hollands want to take you tubing this evening if you are up for it.

Maxiane: Tubing?! Sure, that sounds fun. I've never gone tubing before. I would love to.

Me: So you are up for being dragged behind the boat on a tube?

Maxiane: Behind a BOAT?!

Me: Yeah, on a lake.

Maxiane: On a LAKE?!

When we actually got out on the lake in the evening, Maxiane wanted someone else to go first, but then she was chomping at the bit to get her own turn. 

The big, comfortable, safe "couch" tube eventually sprung a leak, so the Hollands broke out the traditional tube, which is a bit faster and scarier. You really have to hold on! 

Again, Maxiane watched someone else do it first and then was ready to take her chances. 

Today we played it safer by browsing Nashville, Indiana and then had dinner at the Michels' house. 

More perfect summer days!

TECHNOLOGY

I have real misgivings about modern technology, in particular smartphones and their myriad of apps centered on communication of one sort or another.

Considering the fact that face to face communication is rife with opportunities for misunderstandings itself, how much worse does it get when you remove tone of voice and body language cues as well as all traditional time and space boundaries? Then add various filters over the top of it and tie it to your self-worth with likes and retweets? 

Even in mature hands, a smartphone can become downright treacherous. Dangerous and destructive.

How about in immature hands? How many young people can navigate these waves successfully?

I cannot imagine that modern technology is not playing a major role in our society's increasing mental health issues. 

What have we unleashed on the next generation?

GLIMPSE OF HEAVEN

Now and then I experience a worship service that far transcends the ordinary expectations of a Sunday morning. It becomes a glimpse of the new heavens and the new Earth.

This morning our home church, Community Church of Columbus, celebrated its 30th birthday with a special gathering at a local park. 

On a typical Sunday morning, our church consists of three different congregations, each in a different language - English, Spanish, and Chinese. This morning all three joined together on a hillside at Mill Race Park. 

The combination of past and present church members and leaders and several cultures expressing love for God in various tongues, all set in the beauty of God's good creation, opened a brief window into heaven. 

To top it off, there were thirteen baptisms following the service.

My favorite moment was when one lady announced her reason for getting baptized this morning: "I was actually baptized once before, but when it happened, I was high. So I want to get baptized again - I'm not high this time!"

After the service, quite a few people stuck around for a picnic in the park. 

The kids and Maxiane explored some of the flooded parts of the park. Too much rain recently!

Samuel, Hannah, and Sarah wanted to make sure Maxiane got to experience some ice cream at Zaharakos, so we finished our afternoon with banana splits and sundaes and malts - and were joined by some other friends there too. 

I can't imagine enjoying a summer Sunday more!

A VISITOR!

When we lived in Haiti, there was nothing that could generate more anticipation, excitement and joy for our family than to have a visitor from Indiana. We would set aside time and make plans, eager to introduce our American friends to the food, the sights and the people that we loved in Haiti. 

Today felt much the same, only this time we are in Indiana and we are welcoming our first Haitian visitor, a former student to Melissa and me and a former classmate to Samuel, Hannah, and Caleb. I picked her up at the Indianapolis airport this evening and we had a late dinner after Hannah and Samuel got off of work.

Maxiane just finished her first semester in American higher education, at Pensacola Christian College. 

By all reports Maxiane is off to a fantastic start and it does not surprise us. She has smarts, personality, faith, compassion, and a strong family. We were especially glad - but not surprised - to hear that she felt her years at Cap-Haitien Christian School prepared her well for college in the States. 

We're glad to have her with us for the week, to catch up on what the Lord is doing in her life and to introduce her to the food, sights and people of Indiana. 

FOR RESALE

As part of our anniversary celebration, Melissa and I spent a good number of hours over the last two days wandering through antique shops.

In most of these establishments, true antiques are in the minority. 97% of the merchandise should be called "old junk that somebody hopes to turn into cash". 

I enjoy walking through these shops, but that 97% ... if you brought any of it into my home as a gift, I would wait until you left and throw it in the garbage. 

But SOMEBODY likes this stuff. Desires this stuff. Would pay money for this stuff.

These things are in resale shops, proving they have been bought and sold at least once before. 

And that is FASCINATING.

Here is a small sampling of "things that would not inspire me personally to part with any amount of money, but maybe YOU like it?":

Lily White Jesus. For $100??

Penguin-with-Big-Hands Christmas Pillow:

Maybe-Try-Paint-By-Number-Next-Time Amateur Oil Painting:

Talking Rosie O-Donnell Plush Doll (for Ages 18 Months and Up):

Four Foot Tall Poseable Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle:

Extra Chunky Bedroom Suite with Directionally-Challenged Handles:

One-of-a-Kind (Undoubtedly) Stained Glass Clock:

Happy Narwhal Who is Curious about Your Story:

And perhaps my favorite - 

Just-So-Wrong-in-So-Many-Ways Seamstress Figurine:

Such variety in what humans find aesthetically pleasing! And of value.

21 YEARS

21 years ago today I married this remarkable woman. By the time I was 31 years old, I had almost convinced myself that I was going to be single forever. 

And then I met Melissa. 

I was smitten by the end of our first evening together, in love by two weeks, proposing within four months, and married in less than eight. 

(I wasn't going to give her time for second thoughts!)

I knew on our wedding day that I was blessed. I had no idea how much more blessed I would feel 21 years later. 

Here's a toast to the next 21!

THE FINISHER

It took a year, but I finished my bathroom remodel project which began with the installation of a larger shower and snowballed into a room extension with added cabinetry, an enclosed floor-to-ceiling drain pipe, and a recessed medicine cabinet. 

The last big piece of the renovation was bare concrete floor where tile should have been. Two spots lacked tile - at the far end of the room where some tile was removed during the replacement of the shower and at the door where the room had been extended by several feet. It was weeks that then turned into months that the floor looked nasty and felt terrible under bare feet. 

I had a few spare tiles in the garage but I procrastinated because 1) I didn't quite have enough spares to cover the entire space and 2) I had absolutely no experience in tiling or grouting.

But eventually I watched a few YouTube videos, borrowed some tools from my brother, and finished the job to the best of my ability.

Which turned out to be more than adequate.

Here is the Before:

And the After:

A relatively small DIY project, but it's funny. I can't help but notice that, in finishing it up, I gained much more than tiling experience.

Over the last few months I had started saying - to myself and to others - "I never finish a project."

Now, I have gained a new reputation - at least inside my own head (which is where all reputations start, I suppose).

Now ... I finish what I start.

BALL STATE FRESHMAN TO BE

Hard to believe that Caleb is going to be a junior at Wabash College in a few weeks.

Harder to believe that Hannah will be a Sophomore at Olivet Nazarene University.

Hardest to believe that Samuel will be a freshman at Ball State University.

Today was one of those bittersweet days as a parent - Samuel's orientation at Ball State in Muncie, Indiana. This is our family's third year in a row to push a kid out of the nest. Each time it feels so very wrong.

And so very right. 

Neither Melissa nor I (not to mention Samuel, for that matter) have spent much time on Ball State's campus before this point, so it was excellent to see what's there and to get a glimpse of all the opportunities that lie before Samuel beginning next month. 

It is a beautiful campus and the day's activities were well-organized and informative - all very reassuring for us parents. 

Samuel seemed to feel very much at home and left campus with his first semester schedule in hand and a burning desire to get started. 

Fortunately (for us), we still have him at home for another five weeks or so.

All the same, it's "official" now and we feel it ...

On the way home, Samuel fell deep asleep and I told Melissa, "If I had known he was going to fall asleep on the way home, I would have had him change into his jammies before we started the drive."

I snuck a picture as I drove ...

Fortunately, he woke up before we pulled into the drive so I didn't have to carry him into the house and put him in his bed...

BALANCE: FALSE DENIAL IN THE BIBLE

An addendum to my points about key false allegations in the Bible and the way Jesus and Paul both fell victim of false charges:

I was making the point that we have a hard time believing the innocence of a person who is forced into a position of denying any sort of allegation. 

Obviously, though, there are many times when we are right to not believe a denial and Scripture relates at least one high profile false denial. Curiously enough, it happens simultaneous to the false allegations against Christ. And it happens three times.

Of course, I am referencing Peter's famous denial of association with Christ on the night of Jesus's arrest. 

Notice that each time Peter is accused of being with Jesus, he grows more adamant in his refusal. By the third time, he even "called down curses upon himself and he swore to them, 'I don't know the man!'" (Matt 26:74)

Confronted with an unpleasant truth and backed into a corner, a human being WILL fluently and convincingly lie to protect himself or herself. 

Peter wept bitterly when he recognized his failing before God. In my experience, though, most people simply will not back down from a lie, once told.

IRON

A friend left a thoughtful response to my question the other day regarding how a Calvinist would explain why Jesus says that it is "hard for a rich man to enter heaven" when Scripture teaches predestination. 

Although he is not an avowed Calvinist, he was willing to play "Calvin's advocate" for a few moments and I appreciate what he wrote - mainly because he is a truly sharp individual and he knows his Bible and he's familiar with Calvinist theology. 

But also because it is an unfortunate rarity in this age to find a person who can have an intelligent discussion on differing perspectives without either taking offense or causing offense. This guy is one of those rare birds. 

I wish I had at least 20 more friends/commenters like him. He takes a true "iron sharpening iron" approach towards his brothers and sisters in Christ ... and I could use more sharpening. 

We all could.

(I encourage you to go back and read his response. I have started my reply and plan to finish it tomorrow.)

FAKE INTERNATIONAL NEWS

Samuel told me that a friend asked him this regarding the assassination of the Haitian President, Jovenel Moise: "Did he get killed because he was a good guy or because he was a bad guy?"

I thought it was a pretty insightful question.

In American news sources I have seen, Jovenel has been portrayed as a corrupt dictator. The clear implication is that he brought this upon himself. I even saw one article that compared him to Trump in a very negative way. It was almost as if the writer was wistful that the same hadn't happened to our former president. 

Outside journalists, unfamiliar with Haitian politics or Haitian culture, make a few phone calls and then sit at their keyboards to create a neat and tidy narrative. They know nothing. 

It's a very real possibility that President Jovenel died because he was a good guy who made some very bad people very angry.

It would be wise to apply the same rule to news from Haiti as to domestic news: Don't believe everything you read.

TEN YEARS AGO

Google photos is breaking my heart this week with its "On This Day ___ Years Ago" reminders.

Without the reminders, I don't know that it would have clicked with me that this time a decade ago Melissa and I and the kids were in the middle of our two week family exploratory trip to Haiti. This was the trip that confirmed our call to serve the Lord in Haiti. (But it took us another two years to make it a reality.)

According to Google, ten years ago today we spent the afternoon at the beach and then had dinner with Bud and Jane, our missionary hosts at the OMS campus.

Here's Samuel on a brief carsick stop while heading over the mountain to get to the beach:

The kids making friends in the sand:

Sarah never met a Haitian tree she didn't want to climb:

Samuel contemplating life: 

Caleb enjoying the surf:

Hannah and her siblings checking out some artwork for sale:

A homemade pizza dinner at Bud and Jane's house after returning from the beach:

Sarah, worn out:

Ten years later I have to doubt there's any young missionary family visiting Haiti for the first time this summer and thinking, "Let's move here." 

And that just tears me up. 

Our years of ministry at Cowman School (which became Cap-Haitien Christian School) were an incredible learning experience for us all. We always knew there were no quick and easy answers for Haiti's problems. We hoped our school was a long range, slow-building ministry which would play a role in the betterment of Haiti. 

But we never suspected the darkness and suffering would be far worse ten years on. 

I am including a sampling here of some other photos from those two weeks in Haiti, ten long years ago. I am posting them with a sense of painful longing - for the beauty of Haiti, the innocence of simple pleasures, the joy of friendship, the excitement of discovery, and the presence of God in the everyday. And I am fighting the tears as I do.

My prayer for Haiti right now is that this simple statement would prove to be miraculously true: "The best is yet to be."