If anything, I was "maladjusting"!
It started as a tired feeling in the early afternoon. As days went by, the afternoon feeling was downgraded to "run down" and then to "nearly immobile". And then the feeling started to spread to other parts of the day. I would wake up feeling tired, feel relatively clear-headed through the morning hours at school, then grow comatose after lunch. From that point to the close of the day, I couldn't trust my thinking to be sharp. Will power alone carried me through any after-school activities like teaching my adult English class, then dinner and evening dish duties or school planning. I'd finish the day with a cold shower before crawling into bed.
THEN, over the next few days, it got even worse. I got achy. My back was hurting and I started getting headaches. I could raise a sweat by sitting in an easy chair.
One day, in the "cool" of the evening, I was soaking my second shirt of the day. Since a stomach bug had swept through the rest of the family a few days before, I decided to take my temperature. 100.5 degrees.
There was something about that fever that finally got my attention. The thermometer seemed to say to me, "Hey... bonehead - you're not getting enough water."
Now that the word "dehydration" was in my consciousness, I began to review the last few days and weeks in my head. I had been noticing that many days I would lose nearly three pounds between my morning shower and my evening shower. And I had been carrying a water bottle but I didn't often need to refill it during the day. And I was in the habit of starting most mornings drinking nothing but a hot mug full of a powerful diuretic. And I couldn't remember the last time I got up in the middle of the night to answer Mother Nature's call.
Hmmm. Need more water. Could it really be that simple?
In the few hours remaining before bed that night, I drank a Gatorade, several glasses of water and an ice-creamless "milkshake" that Melissa made for me.
The next morning... voila! Back to feeling ALIVE. No more headaches, no more afternoon blahs.
Long ago I discovered that there are often parallels between our physical experiences and our spiritual experiences. Jesus acknowledged such when He spoke with the woman at the well as recorded in John 4, offering her "living water". It seems to me that I am supposed to gain some lessons from my gradual dehydration - lessons beyond "drink more H2O". Deeper and more lasting lessons.
“Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”
How many times has spiritual dryness crept up on me? Do I even notice when the spring becomes a trickle? How many days have I gotten just enough Jesus to function in Christian circles, but not enough to keep me flourishing and healthy and fully ALIVE?
And haven't I seen how spiritual dehydration leaves me listless and tired, dragging myself through church and Bible study and prayer? And doesn't it leave my spiritual discernment utterly foggy and untrustworthy?
If I had had eyes to see it, I am sure there have been times when my spiritual life resembled an arrangement of cut flowers. Perhaps appealing to outsiders but removed from the Source and sitting in stagnant water. No hope of producing vibrant new blossoms, but desperately hanging on to old blooms - blooms whose beauty is fading day by day.
Bleccchhh. I've been there ... too often. That's undoubtedly where I was three years ago when I was first introduced to Haiti and God sent our lives in a new direction.
It's raining tonight and it reminds me of an evening about a week or so ago when Melissa wanted to go for a walk. We've been trying to re-establish an exercise routine and so we started out for a loop around the mission grounds even though the sky threatened rain. By the end of the first loop, a few sprinkles were hitting us and we considered ducking inside the house, but instead we agreed that it didn't feel too bad and we kept walking. Before long the sky really opened and we were wiping trickles of rainwater out of our eyes in order to see the puddles to dodge. We did another three laps - until we were completely soaked through and through.
And it felt so GOOD. It felt like two months of heat and sweat and body odor were being washed away. It was glorious.
And you know what? That's what our move to Haiti has felt like to me. I am feeling more spiritually alive than I have in years. I am aware of Jesus' presence - morning, noon and night - in ways I have never known before. Even in the midst of all the little hassles that come with the territory - power outages and bugs in the food and dirt everywhere - there is so much LIVING to do. And it's not that spiritual struggles and questions are absent, in fact they are more intense than ever. It's just that I am seeing anew how GOOD God is and how much He loves us. And how much he loves this fallen world.
So I'm thinking it's about time to sprout some new blooms. Thank God, I'm re-hydrated.
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinegrower. 2 He removes every branch in me that bears no fruit. Every branch that bears fruit he prunes to make it bear more fruit. 3 You have already been cleansed by the word that I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. 5 I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. 6 Whoever does not abide in me is thrown away like a branch and withers; such branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. 7 If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit and become my disciples. 9 As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. 10 If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. 11 I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete. (John 15:1-11)
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