How I Made a Tough Situation Even Tougher

Before we moved to Haiti, I suspected one of the toughest parts would be responding to all the requests for financial help.  I knew it would be difficult, first, to hear the stories and, second, to not be able  to respond to every one.  Giving is hard on our limited budget, but not giving is even harder. 

Some days we literally cannot walk out our door without finding someone on our steps needing some sort of assistance.  Mothers and fathers have asked for help in paying tuition to put their children in school.  (There is no free public education.)  Others have medical conditions but no money to pay a doctor. 

One man came one afternoon explaining that his wife who apparently had gone to Port au Prince for medical treatment had died there that morning and he needed to raise the equivalent of $500 to get to Port, retrieve her body and pay for the funeral. He had three children he would be leaving here in Cap while he ran his morbid errand: 16, 12 and 7. 

I contributed some money towards his need because I couldn't help but imagine myself in his shoes and think about how desperate one would feel to be not only grieving the death of a spouse but to simultaneously be left begging for money to pay funeral expenses.

Life is tough here.  All over.  And "doing unto others as you would have others do unto you" can get expensive.

I recently bit off more than I can chew and didn't realize it until tonight.  I have written here and on Facebook about my three Haitian boys who have become very dear to me: Ruysdael, Mikenn and Johnny: 

When school started for most Haitian students last week, my guys were not saying anything about school, so I asked if they were enrolled. No.  Mikenn is 19 and done with school and Johnny and Ruysdael's moms can't afford to pay for their schooling.  They are the oldest kids in their families, and school gets more expensive with each grade level jump, so their younger siblings were going to school, but they were not.

They never asked me for any money, so I took the initiative and asked them how much school would cost.  I was given a piece of paper with school information - all in French - and it looked to me like there would be three payments throughout the year, each at about $100.  And uniforms would be an extra expense.  Melissa and I thought that might be a stretch for us, but that we might at least be able to get them started on the school year for a bit over $200. 

Well, no money had changed hands yet, but we visited Ruysdael's mom yesterday at home and she thanked us for sending Ruysdael to school.



Some of Ruysdael's friends and relations were a bit shy about coming out to see us.



Ruysdael and Mikenn brought enough chairs outside that our whole family could sit to meet with Ruysdael's mom.

And then, today, Johnny brought his mom to visit us at home.  She also was very thankful. She came hoping we could give her the needed money tonight so Johnny could start school tomorrow. In fact, she was going this evening to pick up the uniforms for her twin boys so they could start school - belatedly - tomorrow morning. 

BUT...

In the midst of the conversation, it was pointed out to me on the French paperwork that yes, roughly $100 was due now, but that wasn't the initial fee.  The initial fee was an additional $160.  Each.  AND she was under the impression that we were offering to pay for Johnny's twin brother, John, too.  She had already gotten uniforms for both of them.  Ruysdael's uniform would be an extra $40.   

Melissa and I felt sick.  Let me make clear that both moms were completely sweet and humble and so very grateful.  Both had felt it was impossible to send their oldest boys to school this year and had resigned themselves to that reality.  These two families, though, had found hope in our "generosity" and had been ready to celebrate.

And now we were stammering and attempting to explain that this was all a bit more than we could handle on our own.  Honestly, I wanted to cry.  We could probably stretch and pay for one of these boys to go to school, but how would we choose?

I'm sure my fellow missionaries, more experienced and wiser, will read this and shake their heads ... maybe do a "face palm". And also maybe cry with me.

So why am I telling you this?  Pretty obviously, I believe in these boys and in their education and my only real option at the moment, after stepping so awkwardly into this situation, is to throw the need out there and see if any friends, family or strangers might step forward to help make this happen for them. 

If the Spirit prompts you and you'd be willing to give a bit to bless these young men, please email me at sgross@onemissionsociety.org , message me on Facebook or Skype me at steve_gross1.  Thanks and God bless!