ENJOYING THE RAIN

After school a strong rain broke loose. Sarah looked out the front window and said, "That just makes me want to go run around outside."

It was my first day back at teaching after surviving my own bout with Covid. I was exhausted.

So I joined her in the backyard. 

I freely admit my motivation: Melissa and I have just four years with Sarah before the nest is empty. 

And if there is one thing I know at age 53, it is how fast four years will fly. 

THE EXTREMES

A few weeks back I was having a little health issue and I Googled over-the-counter solutions. The name of a particular natural herb came up that I had never heard mention of before, but I went looking down the local Walmart's aisle brimming with "vitamins and natural supplements" and there it was!

On the one hand, I don't believe everything I read on the internet. On the other hand, I am a frugal guy and I figured 9 bucks for a bottle of something that MIGHT work could be a wise investment before entering a doctor's office and paying untold fees for an appointment followed by an expensive prescription of some sort. 

All that is to make this point: That aisle at Walmart (and Target and Kroger) is jammed with bottles of all sorts making all kinds of health benefit claims - from better sleep to clearer thinking to more energy. It is amazing to behold.

And it occurred to me as I stood there that some people see all those bottles and believe EACH natural extract and root powder is nature's own medical miracle. And some people walk by, scoff, and believe that it is ALL snake oil sold only to the gullible. 

It seems only rational to me that both extremes are likely to be terribly mistaken if the truth could be known with certainty. Would you agree that the rational person would believe reality lies somewhere between the two extremes? And rational people could debate whether the truth is closer to miracle or snake oil, but all would have to admit there is at least some of both in the mix. 

This seems incredibly obvious to me on a subject (like natural supplements) in which I am not emotionally invested. It took me a long time to see that this same rejection of the extremes should apply to other matters which are much more emotionally charged for me:

What if the other political party isn't 100% corrupt, stupid and/or evil?

What if the president I don't like isn't a complete moron or a hapless dementia patient?

What if my favorite news source can't be trusted 100% either?

What if my theological tradition doesn't have a corner on the whole truth?

What if Big Pharma is neither our saintly medical savior nor a money-hungry addiction machine?

What if my worst enemy is actually striving to do his or her best at life?

I understand the appeal of the extremes. They can be places to "take a stand" and to find like-minded people. And everything is black and white and there's comfort and security in that.

But if we really seek the truth, we might want to keep a certain distance from the extremes. 

(P.S. The natural supplement I found at Walmart is doing the trick! A doctor's visit has been avoided.) 

AND THEN THERE WAS ONE

With Hannah leaving yesterday for year 2 at Olivet Nazarene University, today was Sarah's first official day as a newly minted "only child". 

All I can say is that this is going to take some getting used to. The house feels quiet and empty. 

Melissa and I were disappointed that with our Covid diagnoses we weren't able to travel the three hours to Olivet with Hannah yesterday and help her move into a new apartment. 

The timing of her own Covid diagnosis worked out perfectly for Hannah, though. She had been worrying that she might catch Covid sometime during the semester - or even just get contact traced - and have to miss a bunch of classes. And apparently the professors are not planning to go out of their way to help students who have to quarantine. (It's all part of the pressure the school is trying to put on everyone to get vaccinated.) 

Anyway, since she was heading back to school just two weeks past her initial symptoms, it means Hannah is safe for at least 90 days from catching Covid again and won't even have to do the weekly spit tests that she was dreading. 

As for the rest of us - I am taking one more day home from school and then planning to return on Tuesday. Melissa is planning to work from home this week. And Sarah is ready to go back to school, assuming we can prove that she is past the contagious stage. 

AN OLDIE BUT A GOODIE

Melissa recently came across the old title How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, first published in 1936. 

I am sure I read it years ago, but the lessons didn't stick with me back then. Now? I am just a few chapters in but it is affirming many of my recently formed convictions about human nature.

For example, on page 13:

"When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity." 

Or this, on page 5:

"Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, people don't criticize themselves for anything, no matter how wrong it may be." 

And on page 23:

Carnegie quotes Charles Schwab: "I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement." 

To be clear, those first two quotes may seem quite cynical. Neither Carnegie nor I mean them in that manner. Rather than cynical, they are simply straightforward acknowledgments of the reality of human nature. 

One has to come to grips with the reality of human nature if one hopes to make sense of human interactions. 

IT WAS A GOOD RUN

Melissa and I eluded Covid for nearly a year and a half, but it finally caught up to us. 

Melissa tested positive a few days ago and it has hit her pretty hard. Nothing that is trending toward a hospital visit by any stretch of the imagination, but definitely miserable.

I guess now I had Covid myself a few days before her, but mistook it for one of my ongoing sinus battles.

It is such an odd disease. It is difficult for me to comprehend how it has been so deadly for so many when for me it has ranked no worse than dozens of sinus infections I have endured over the past decade or more: I ran a temperature of 100.4 for a couple of hours one night, fought sinus gunk and a headache for a few days, and felt a little more tired than normal. It was only within the last day or two that I lost some of my sense of taste. 

I guess we are not out of the woods yet, but I can't help comparing Covid to the time most of my family got Chikungunya in Haiti. That was much worse. The exhaustion that came with that disease left each of us pinned to the couch and the joint pain continued for months.

On the bright side, Melissa and I definitely made the right call in not going to my aunt and uncle's big 60th wedding anniversary celebration last Saturday. That was the day Melissa developed a sore throat and it was a few days after my "sinus infection" had started. 

RESURRECTION

You know that superstition that the news of deaths always comes in threes? I have experienced that this week. And each of the three was completely unexpected. I knew each individual; some better than others. And each one has left other people that I know and love reeling in shock and grief. The individuals who passed ranged in age from 74 to just a child. 

Of all the various theological battles that the Apostle Paul fought in the pages of the New Testament, none seem more foreign and puzzling to me than what is recorded in 1 Corinthians 15. There he actually is going up against "fellow believers" who apparently do not believe in the resurrection of the dead.

These people are part of the church but seem to believe that there is nothing after death. When someone physically dies, that's it. That's the end of their existence. 

But apparently this was a fairly common belief in Jewish circles. And apparently, Jesus's teachings about eternal life struck a lot of people in his day as being fairly novel. 

Paul breaks out his famous logic to argue that the believer who doesn't buy into resurrection, is no believer at all: 

16 For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either.

17 And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins.

18 Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost.

19 If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.

Exactly! There are too many occasions in this life that are unbearably tragic if this is all there is to existence! 

Paul correctly points out that "if the dead are not raised," we might as well adopt the attitude of "Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die." 

The hope of RESURRECTION, though, changes everything. 

SPIRITUAL AUTOBIOGRAPHY

As part of my application to the doctoral program I am hoping to begin in October, I am supposed to write a "spiritual autobiography". Here's the start of my first draft so far: 

At 53, I know there are more years behind me on this planet than are in front of me. I have recently concluded that I may well have two or three decades left, assuming I hit the 70- or 80-year mark. As an eternal optimist, I believe that these coming years could quite possibly be the most productive years of my life. And as my years advance, I feel more keenly than ever that “productivity” means doing whatever God calls me to within His kingdom. 

I was born into a Christian family, but it took many years for me to make my faith personal. The family business was “Major’s Five and Dime” on a street corner in downtown Shelbyville, Indiana. A few blocks away was First United Methodist Church. It is safe to say the gray Bedford stone building was much more imposing and impressive than the group who gathered inside.

The church was warm and friendly enough but we always struggled to maintain critical mass. Pastors and youth pastors came and went regularly. My three brothers and I participated in Sunday school and youth group and my parents were active on various committees and served as youth sponsors.

When I look back now, I realize that I became a Christian both “because of” and “in spite of” my home church. I distinctly remember thinking, “There must be something more to Christianity because what I see around me surely would not have lasted two thousand years.” I became determined to discover the “something more”.

One of the main blessings from that church came when I was a high school student and it arrived in the form of Tom and Marcia Kuhn, who stepped in to teach our Sunday school class. The Kuhns were mature and loving and talked about faith like it was real and it mattered. I had never heard of daily devotions, but they challenged us to read our Bibles on a regular basis. So I did.

That decision changed the course of my life.

STANDARDIZED TESTING

It's the third full week of school and my 8th graders are spending 4 of their 5 available class periods taking standardized tests in English. (And 2 in math.)

Next week I will be expected to print out reports for all 75 students, analyze their weak areas and begin to develop plans to remediate those who are behind grade level in various skills. 

This is side work while continuing to develop lesson plans from scratch, grading each paper in a timely manner, addressing individual behavior issues, communicating with parents, answering daily emails, and keeping the online learning platform up to date for any student quarantined at home. 

And actually teaching six classes daily. 

Don't get me wrong - I am thankful to have a job. But a contract that says I can do all this within 7.5 hours weekdays is ludicrous. 

LESSONS IN HANDLING DISCIPLINE

"I screwed up!" were Samuel's first words when I answered his phone call last night as he ended his third full day as a freshman on Ball State's campus. 

It turns out that his first official college lessons had just taken place: 1) Parking signs should be read carefully and 2) They mean business. 

Instead of immediately moving his car to his assigned stadium parking lot, he had left it in the church lot across the street from his dorm. For about 24 hours too long. Now it was gone and the cost to retrieve it was going to be $170! 

Cash. 

Samuel was kicking himself for letting that much money slip through his fingers for his lack of attention. After all, he had passed on purchasing a closer parking spot with the university for the school year at just $100 extra because he had wanted to save money. 

I appreciated the fact that he blamed only himself. He was mad not at the church or the tow company, but at himself. 

I wish I could credit his follow up actions this morning to fatherly advice, but my only advice last night was "Don't lose sleep over it. What's done is done."

What he did this morning came purely from his own heart and character: He walked into that church building and found someone to chat with. 

He was shocked when the church offered to pay the towing fee for him. They said it was because he was so "respectful". 

And the cherry on top? After getting his car back and parking it properly, Samuel wrote and delivered a thank you note to the church.

Proud dad moment over here. That's at least three valuable lessons so far and classes are just getting started!

(P.S. Plus - way to live out the gospel, church! Kudos!) 

OLD FRIEND

Today brought a much too brief visit with Janeen.

What can I tell you about Janeen - this incredible young(ish😏) lady who served alongside us for several years in Haiti? 

She's the little sister neither Melissa nor I had while growing up. 

For Melissa, Janeen has been the sister confidant. 

For me, she's the baby sis who has been there for me to pick on. 

For Caleb, Hannah, Samuel, and Sarah, Janeen has been the wacky, fun aunt who jumps on hotel beds or snaps our kids with wet kitchen towels, leaving welts on bare thighs without remorse. 

She has been our co-worker, co-traveler, and sometimes co-curser.

She has made us laugh until we cry and ... sometimes ... cry until we laugh. 

And Janeen is one tough nut. 

When Melissa and I went through our toughest days as we left Haiti, many of our friendships were tested - some backed away and some proved to be false. But we never questioned where we stood with Janeen. 

We love her. 

And because we love her, I want to ask you to join us in covering her in prayer as she makes preparations to return to Haiti. She has faced untold trials in her service there but the Lord has shown Himself faithful over the years, again and again. Please pray for protection over body, mind, and spirit. And lasting fruit for her work at Cap-Haitien Christian School. 

We miss being your neighbors, Janeen! God bless and keep you!

This is one of the best things Janeen did today! She loaded up her sister's vehicle with supplies for Cap-Haitien Christian School that had filled my garage and a storage unit for over a year. Great to have the space back - even better to see them on their way to be put to use in Haiti, for God's glory!

PLANS CHANGE

Our plans changed today at the last minute. Melissa and I were supposed to be driving three hours north to celebrate my aunt and uncle's 60th wedding anniversary all afternoon. 

This is my mom's side of the family and we were really looking forward to catching up with all the various families coming in from all over. Ever since my mom passed away, these sort of opportunities are more precious than ever. Not to even mention the fact that SIXTY years of solid, godly marriage? Yes, that deserves celebration!

But then ... Covid. 

I don't have it and nobody in my family does. But I have been fighting what I believe to be - with 99% certainty - a simple sinus infection. And in this age, you just don't go somewhere when you're not feeling healthy. I certainly didn't want to pass anything to anybody else and, besides, I needed a quiet, restful day at home if I have hopes of recovering before the new week begins. 

So it was disappointing, but staying home did open up a margin in my schedule to allow some other things to happen. I got a nap, for instance, but I also got to spend time with Caleb, who returns to college on Monday. And I spent three hours on the phone reconnecting with an old friend with whom I haven't spoken for at least 6 years. And it was such an encouraging conversation. 

So, I can't complain. 

I guess the pandemic has made us all more accustomed to our plans being turned upside down. 

SMARTPHONE ADDICTION BREAKING

Like most Americans, for many years now I have known my smartphone as one of my closest companions. It is always there to make me laugh, keep me connected, or distract me from worries. It's the last thing I look at each night and the first thing I look at each morning. 

But lately I have been noticing more distance between me and the phone. And it is nothing I set out specifically to do. It is largely a byproduct of some of my new habits. 

First, I am making sure that my morning coffee time is spent with Scripture instead of Twitter. Yes, I typically use the Bible app on my phone, but that's just so I can read while the house is still dark. In my mind, I am holding the Bible in my hand and not a phone. 

Second, I have gotten back into reading actual physical books so that I can underline important thoughts. So if I get a spare 20 minutes in the evening, I am now more likely to pick up a book than to look at my phone. 

And finally, I have decided the fifteen minute drive to and from school is a good time to prioritize quiet meditation and prayer over turning on a podcast. On my way to work in the morning, I try to pray for my students, co-workers and administrators. On my way home, I pray for my family. 

I realized the smartphone's hold on me was loosened last week when I left the house, forgetting to get my phone off the charger. That would have driven me crazy in the past, but now it didn't phase me. 

13th GRADE FOR SAMUEL

We helped Samuel move into his tiny dorm room at Ball State this evening ... and Melissa and I shed a few tears in the process. 

Here's the letter I left in his dorm room when we departed: 

Dear Samuel,

I assume you know that my jokes about getting you out of the house recently are just a coping mechanism for dealing with this moment. It doesn’t seem real and it doesn’t get any easier with each kid who leaves the nest.

I want you to know how proud your mother and I are of you. You are a unique young man. I have never known anyone else with your mix of good humor, brains, faith and compassion. I have been amazed to see how you jumped into a senior year at a new school and made the most out of the opportunities it presented. Maybe it wasn’t easy for you, but you certainly made it look that way. I also admire how you pursue various interests and teach yourself whatever you want to know – from computer languages to chess.

I think your choice of friends also speaks so highly of your character. They are a good group and, like you, they seem to be leaders rather than followers. Your mom and I have also been so impressed with the maturity of your relationship with your girlfriend. She is a sweet young lady and we will be curious to see where God takes that relationship.

We are going to miss you around the house, but we know it is time for you to head out.  As you get started at Ball State, keep your head on straight and keep close to God. I will be praying that you find a solid Christian community to be a part of – a church or campus Bible study – and that the Lord surrounds you with good and faithful friends.

Never forget how much you are loved from home and from heaven!

With Love and Admiration,

Dad

WATCHING FROM A DISTANCE

This evening I am once again fighting the sinus infection that never dies. It hibernates in the shadows for weeks at a time and then creeps right back in where it isn't wanted.

It's particularly inconvenient tonight because I am needing to do some planning and grading for my classes and, more importantly, it is Samuel's last evening with us all before he heads off to college. (Which also means that tomorrow I need to be alert enough to make it through a day of teaching and then drive the almost two hours to Muncie, Indiana and back, with enough energy in reserve to survive Friday.) 

After school, all I wanted was to get a nap. Instead, I found myself unloading and loading the dishwasher and prepping dinner. Why didn't somebody else take care of the kitchen during the day? Why are my kids hiding in their rooms or at a friend's house instead of setting the table?

I have to tell you though, that I find it really hard to maintain a pity party these days. Watching the unimaginable suffering in Afghanistan and Haiti, I feel so petty for what are, at most, incredibly minor inconveniences to my plans. 

I already feel a sort of guilt about not being in Haiti myself, to face an uncertain future alongside of friends there. And I find that the only way that guilt could possibly get any worse is to allow myself to wallow in even a minute of self-pity in my comfortable mid-west existence. 

BLISSFULLY UNAWARE

This week is particularly painful as I get notifications from Google photos and Facebook about "memories" from years past.

For many years, mid-August was our usual timetable for returning to Haiti to start a new school year. 

In 20019, we were watching Caleb's freshman class "ringing in" ceremony from our kitchen in Haiti. 

In 2018, Samuel was helping me with some renovation work around the house on the mountainside where we had just moved from the OMS compound.

In 2017, we were taking Oreo into Haiti with us for the first time - flying out of Fort Pierce, Florida on Missionary Flights International.

In 2016, we were on a flight into Haiti with the Love family.

In 2015, we were at the Indianapolis airport as a family.

And then there was LAST YEAR. August 17, 2020. I was hanging out with my old seminary pal, Tim, at a campground in Illinois, blissfully unaware that an email I had just sent out was going to set off a firestorm of anger and panic within our sending organization. 

Otherwise, it was a good day. ;-) 

13 SHORT YEARS

I cannot wrap my head around some aspects of the modern junior high experience, making it difficult for me to reach and teach some students.

How can a person be just 13 years old and yet be

• oozing negativity and hatred?
• completely cynical about school?
• ever ready to confront authority figures with absolute disdain?
• stressed to the point of eminent mental breakdown?

Thirteen short years on this planet and this is where they find themselves?

I can't help but wonder what forces of evil lie hidden in the background. 

To be clear, this is a small percentage of the student body. But it doesn't take too many kids in this state to completely alter the atmosphere of any classroom - or the school as a whole - for the worse. 

As much as I wish it wasn't so, I know there are no quick and easy short-term fixes. So I am going to pray. 

CURE FOR PROCRASTINATION?

I might be a little premature in sharing tips on overcoming procrastination, because I am still working on this aspect of my life, but I am pulling these tips from solid sources and I have been testing them out myself and finding some successes. 

Here's the advice I gave my 7th grade student who figured she would "debate" herself over the weekend regarding cleaning her bedroom: Start small. Give yourself permission to do the smallest possible thing to make some little progress on the room. Clean for 2 minutes. Or clean one small area - the desk top, for example. 

Likely, that will be enough to produce a morsel of that good inner feeling of accomplishment that might kickstart your appetite for finishing the job. 

I tried a slightly different approach on myself today. I had several hours of schoolwork to get done this afternoon or evening. Last semester I often put such work off until 7 or 8 pm Sunday night - much too late for me to do quality work. 

But today was different. Before church ended, instead of debating myself about when to get started on my work, I found myself mentally rehearsing the good feelings that would come with getting it finished - and finished well:

• With my planning - I would feel so much more confident in the classroom Monday morning and throughout the week. 

• With my grading - I would be giving my students the prompt feedback they need to grow and to feel successful in my class. And THAT would make ME feel successful. 

That was enough. I was able to enjoy a leisurely Sunday lunch with a couple of guests and then take a nap before getting to work on my planning. And I had actually talked myself into looking forward to starting once I woke up. 

I started around 4 pm and got so much accomplished in the first hour that I felt fine taking several breaks throughout the afternoon and evening - to go for a run, to eat dinner, and to walk the dogs with Melissa. 

It turned out to be a very pleasant day, actually!

It's kind of weird because either of these two approaches to defeating procrastination imply that you can basically hack your own brain and override unproductive thoughts. Your better self CAN win the debate. 

DEBATING MYSELF

Third period each day I teach "Communications" to a handful of 7th graders. They are a really neat class so far. 

Yesterday I asked one of these students what she had planned for the weekend. 

She said, "Well, I SHOULD clean up my bedroom, but I might just debate with myself."

What did she mean by debating herself?

"I debate myself over my room. I don't want to clean it, but I feel really good when it is clean."

I thought that was incredibly perceptive, especially for such a young person: Procrastination involves debating myself. If procrastination is a habit, then I am endlessly debating myself.

And if I am successful in putting something off, I have won a debate ... against my better self.

SYSTEMS

When I read Scott Adams' book How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big about a year ago, I don't know that I appreciated what he had to say about systems being more important than goals. 

But it has grown on me in such a way that I don't even know now if this wording is his or mine: goals without systems are just wishful thinking. It is systems that will get you to your goal, and maybe even beyond.

One of my goals for this school year is to be more organized. There is so much to keep track of - lesson planning, copying, attendance, late work, grading - and I am not a natural born multi-tasker.

Here are three things I am learning about systems.

Sometimes systems can be a quick, one-time fix. 

I brought in a nice table that Melissa and I have had for years but we don't currently have space for at home. It was in the shed in the backyard. Now it gives me a place to keep all my papers and supplies handy for class right up front where I need it. 

Sometimes good systems can easily be borrowed from others.

I hate having to deal with classroom discipline issues - doling out detentions is unpleasant and creates extra work for me. This year, I adopted the system some of my co-workers had already found successful - making the students give up their cellphones when they enter class. This results in dramatically fewer incidents of taboo cellphone use during class - texting, cheating, taping, gaming, etc.

I put my own spin on this system with a retro-fitted classic Coke bottle box for collecting the phones just inside the classroom door.

Sometimes systems are daily habits that need to be created from scratch.

I have a real difficult time shifting gears between classes and between days. When a student walks in and asks, "What did I miss yesterday?", my brain locks up. I have found "I have no idea!" is not an acceptable answer.

I found cheap dry erase boards at Target and stuck magnets on the back. Each day I write a basic outline of classroom activities for my various preps. These I keep on the front board. At the end of the day I move them to the board at the back of the room. 

I have enough of these panels to keep track of an entire past week. 

This practice, more than anything, has taught me the value of systems. This is because, while this system most definitely solves the original problem I designed it for, it is also showing potential for accomplishing other worthy, but unintended objectives:

• It is helpful for students and has eliminated a question that has always grated on my nerves: "What are we doing today?"
• It makes it easy for me to loop back and review/reinforce previous lessons.
• Most importantly, it is giving my teaching more of a sense of direction by keeping the recent days' work always in my vision.

Systems are much more important than goals.

OVERESTIMATING

I have a tendency to overestimate what my 8th graders are capable of reading or discussing. And I often assume they know certain vocabulary words only to find out that they have no clue.

The funny thing is, I am not the only one who overestimates what they already know. They do too!

Two examples from today:

1) A young lady was wearing a Playboy shirt. It was under a sweatshirt for most of the day, but she came to my class after gym and was too warm to keep the sweatshirt on. She willingly covered up again when I mentioned it was against dress code, and then her friend said, "Ooooooo, how do you know what Playboy is, Mr. Gross?" 

My reply: "I know what cocaine is too but that doesn't mean I have ever used it."

Did she think Playboy was some underground, little-known porn magazine?

2) I posted a Google slide with a quote from Red Badge of Courage to illustrate similes to the class and mentioned that Stephen Crane is a famous American author. 

One young man blurted out: "If he's so famous, how come I've never heard of him?!" 

My reply: "Because you're in 8th grade."

I am going to hope he was joking ...

STEPPING OUT

During the moments before and after each class throughout the day, my fellow teachers and I are supposed to step outside our classroom doors into the hallway to keep an eye on the students as they travel to their next class. We are there to assure there's no funny business.

I don't think I EVER did it last year. I would get too wrapped up in making preparations for my next class. 

This year I am making a conscious effort to get into the hall. It's one of my new professional habits.

It has been a fairly easy habit to establish, too, because it is actually enjoyable. For instance, there is a 7th grade boy whose locker is opposite my door and he really struggles with his combination. He has often given me a play-by-play of his frustrations, but today he was claiming victory over the lock. And he was so proud.

After school today an older student walked by. I didn't recognize him but he stopped and asked, "Are you Mr. Gross?" With my confirmation, he continued, "My little brother has you in class and says you're his favorite teacher so far. He says he has never liked an English teacher before." 

Do you know anything as uplifting as a second hand compliment? To know that someone is talking about you - and saying GOOD things? Wow. 

And I would have missed it if I never stepped out of my classroom. 

MASKING UP ... AGAIN

Everyone agrees that Covid, masks, and vaccinations have become irretrievably political. I am not looking to make any shocking or controversial claims here for or against masks. My gut says that they undoubtedly help some in hindering the spread of the disease. But I am the oddball who is equally suspicious of anybody who claims masks are either absolutely necessary or absolutely useless. 

But I am a big fan of autonomy and freedom and I dislike paternalism. 

Sarah was in tears last night because her school system has decided - three days into the new school year - to reinstitute a mask mandate. 

A lot of people poo-poo both the physical and mental discomfort of wearing a mask, but it is real for many individuals, including my daughter.

One thing I can say for certain: the school system is doing a terrible job of communicating this about-face persuasively. Most notably missing from their announcement is what it will take to again remove the mask mandate. 

At least give everybody some hope of normalcy. 

Under the circumstances and with such poor efforts at explanation from the district, I expect compliance to be an issue with both parents and students in the coming days. I will be anxious to hear from Sarah how her classmates react tomorrow as masking is reinstituted schoolwide. Will students fall into line? Will they resist? If so, will enough individuals resist to cause the school major headaches? 

There's a real possibility the school is about to activate some leaders among the student body.

Or not.

Time will tell.

THE CUE

The success I am seeing so far in breaking my procrastination habit comes mainly from picking up on the cue and using it to trigger a new behavior.

In Duhigg's book, the "cue" is the signal that sets off a craving, leading in turn to the habitual behavior, which is closely followed by the "reward". 

The cue can be the donut box in the teacher's lounge that sets me on a path to eating pure sugar and fat when, a moment before I walked in, I was not even hungry. It could be a rising stress level that sends someone chewing fingernails. Or a whiff of cigarette smoke that brings a craving for a cigarette break. 

In this case, my cue for a new habit is the internal debate I have at the sight of some small chore: Do I take care of it now, or do it later? Perhaps my tendency to favor "later" has been a desire to be free of responsibilities, and the reward is a short-termed freedom from external demands. 

It may sound weird, but avoiding a chore has a micro vacation vibe of sorts. 

Duhigg says bad habits cannot really be broken; they need to be replaced. So now when that cue comes up and I hear the internal debate start, I choose a different path and think, "Why not do it now?" If I am not in a hurry (and I rarely am), I take care of the task immediately. 

I am succeeding because even though the reward is different, it is actually a more powerful and attractive reward - instead of getting a micro vacation, I get to feel good about myself. I tell myself, "I am the kind of person who takes care of things in the present."

And it is working.  

A BAD PROCRASTINATION HABIT

I am seeing everything through the framing of "habits" these days. And it is proving to be helpful.

Most of my focus is on starting new good habits, on both the personal and the professional level. But part of my attention has gone to a particular bad habit I have of putting off even small tasks indefinitely.

I never recognized this as a habit before because it manifests itself in such various situations at all times of day. 

Here are some recent real examples: 

I pull the minivan into our drive, notice an empty chip bag in the passenger seat and think, "I should take that inside and throw that away ... later."

I walk past the flower bed, notice a giant, ugly weed and think, "I should pull up that weed ... later."

I step over a tool I left on the back deck several days ago and think, "I should put that away ... later."

Upon reflection, I have to admit that I have done this for years, even on the smallest of duties. 

But I am glad to report that I am now cautiously optimistic that I am turning this around. 

I am eager to tell you how I am doing it ... later.

(Tomorrow. I am trying to establish good sleep habits and it is bedtime.)

THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT?

I made the mistake this evening of going to see a movie with my three oldest kids and a couple of their friends. Spending time with my kids is not usually a mistake, but I guess it is when it involves watching something like Suicide Squad. 

I didn't do my research ahead of time and so the sheer volume of gratuitous violence caught me entirely off guard. A movie treating human life so cheaply is an automatic turn off for me, so in my mind there was nothing else about it that could possibly qualify as entertainment. 

Hundreds of deaths took place on screen, typically in the most gruesome manner possible. Good guys, bad guys and innocent bystanders alike. And worst of all, most were played for laughs. 

I was not amused.

I come out of a movie like that depressed and disturbed. At least I only paid 5 bucks to feel miserable. 

FIRST DAY AS A FRESHMAN

For the first time in our family history, Sarah was all alone for our annual "first day of school" photo shoot this morning. And off to high school for the first time. 

Her verdict at the end of the day was, "High school is SO MUCH BETTER than middle school!" Melissa and I are glad  to hear that. Undoubtedly, a big part of her enthusiasm is the fact she has a known friend or two in just about every class and over her lunch time as well. 

Sarah is doing show choir this school year, so that promises to be a fun experience. She's also hoping to do dance classes in Franklin twice a week. Melissa and I MIGHT be able to swing that with her being an "only child" from here on out. 

RAMBLINGS

I've got enough brain power tonight to assemble a handful of disjointed thoughts, so here we go:

Caleb is home safe and sound. When I returned to the house after school, he was fast asleep on the couch in the basement, posed like a little boy. Had to remind myself he's a young man just returned from his first real taste of military life. 

As for my first day with students, I can't complain. I also cannot call it my "first day of teaching". There was no time for teaching - just rules all the teachers were required to go over, period after period. 

Still, the students were relatively patient with it all and well-behaved today, but I got little glimpses of some big personalities. All students are so deceptively subdued in the beginning. Maybe I will be able to win some over before anything gets ugly. 

I have one student who has me for three straight periods every afternoon right after lunch: fourth period study hall, fifth period English, and 6th period writing class. (Odd scheduling is one of the charms of a small school.) I told him, "I sure hope we get along well!" and he replied, "Me too." (Fortunately, that third class rotates, so it will only be three periods straight the first two week of every quarter for him.) 

I made some changes to my classroom setup earlier this week and I am already seeing how much it will benefit me to have a work environment designed in a way to make systems flow as smoothly as possible. It was nice having a few days to make changes in the classroom as opposed to when I started in January and had no time to make the room my own. 

Judging from the first day, it will be a good year. 

STARTING TOMORROW

 God willing, tomorrow will bring two things:

1) Caleb, home after a month of basic training

and 

2) The first day of a new school year for me.

I was going to make a joke about feeling greatly conflicted about tomorrow, not knowing whether to be eager or depressed, but in actuality, both of these things are going to be good.

Obviously I am excited to see Caleb but I am also (mostly) eager to get going again at school. 

And although I felt a bit depleted by the end of last school year, this year will be different. For one thing, I get to see the kids' faces. (No mask mandate at our school at present, knock on wood.) 

For another, it will be good to start the year in August and set the tone of my classroom from the get go. I am convinced now that much of my difficulty last semester came from jumping into someone else's class mid-year. 

Furthermore, this year will feel different because I am experimenting in big ways with my entire approach to the classroom, based largely on the reading I have done over the past year. We shall see what works and what doesn't. Either way, it will keep things interesting. 

There's much to look forward to, starting tomorrow. 

HEBREWS 12: TWO MOUNTAINS

Is it just my imagination or does BJ Fogg's contention that people "change best by feeling good, not by feeling bad" run a broad parallel to the difference between the Old Covenant of the Law and the New Covenant of the blood of Jesus Christ?

At least that is what I am seeing in the description of the two mountains in Hebrews 12.

The first mountain is obviously Mt. Sinai, where the Lord first laid down the Law to his people after he brought them out of Egypt:

18 You have not come to a mountain that can be touched and that is burning with fire; to darkness, gloom and storm; 19 to a trumpet blast or to such a voice speaking words that those who heard it begged that no further word be spoken to them, 20 because they could not bear what was commanded: “If even an animal touches the mountain, it must be stoned to death.” 21 The sight was so terrifying that Moses said, “I am trembling with fear.”

Mt. Sinai is all fire, gloom, darkness, death, and fear. 

But the author reminds us this is NOT the mountain that believers now come to!

22 But you have come to Mount Zion, to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, 23 to the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God, the Judge of all, to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, 24 to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel.

This Mount Zion to which we DO come, in complete contrast to Sinai, is all angels, joy, life, perfection, righteousness, and newness!

The gloom surrounding Mount Sinai fills me with fear and I want to run far away. 

And how does one change for the better while running far from his Creator?

Mount Zion, on the other hand, fills me with wonder and gratitude and a real hope that all may be put right between me and the Lord. All through the work of Jesus the mediator! 

If I am approaching Mount Zion, change for the better seems not only likely, but downright inevitable. 

BEST WAY TO CHANGE

Just finished reading this book:

My verdict: It is excellent and well worth a read. I plan to put the information inside to the test in both my personal life and my classroom. 

One point in particular that caught my eye and made me think:

Author BJ Fogg, a behavior researcher at Stanford University, says people "change best by feeling good, not by feeling bad". 

As the saying goes, this is BIG if true.

For the parent, the teacher, the boss, and the self, Fogg is not just saying that the carrot is more effective than the stick.

We often DO use the stick - "feeling bad" - on our kids, our students, our co-workers, or our selves. We, and all the world, often rely on inflicting guilt and shame, both to stop bad behavior or to encourage good behavior. 

Time and again, it doesn't work as well as we hope.

Maybe it's time to focus on the "feeling good" over the "feeling bad". But in Fogg's thinking, the "feeling good" is not about a carrot in the traditional sense, not a reward for doing the right thing: a lollipop for finishing the homework, a bonus for meeting a deadline, or a new outfit for sticking to the diet.

Those things can be motivating certainly. But Fogg seems to have in mind a more basic "feeling good" - the internal feeling of success. Feeling good about one's self. 

This sounds right to me. And it seems like the kind of idea that has much bigger ramifications than are obvious on first look. 

THE WORM

Shucking some sweet corn yesterday, I marveled at how impossible it is to know whether or not you've got good corn until you get it home and look beneath the surface. (And really not until you pull it out of the boiling water, butter it up and sink your teeth in.)

All 12 ears I bought looked the same at the market. 

At home I shucked ten beautiful ears and then I pulled back the husk on the 11th and ... gross!

No indication on the outside that there's a nasty worm at work, destroying the corn on the inside, eating the good stuff and leaving a mess. 

I guess it crawls in there when both it and the ear are small and young and the worm just starts its destructive path at the top and keeps moving deeper. 

It's not the corn's fault. It is not like the worm was invited. And once invaded, the ear has no defenses against the worm or the destruction it brings.

Fortunately, if caught early enough, the ear is not lost entirely. What can be salvaged, is salvaged and still serves its purpose. After all, the same price was paid for it as the others, so what's left should still be put to good use if possible.

All of this is true for corn. 

And more than corn.

RENEWING THE MIND?

The two verses that begin Chapter 12 of Romans have been much on my mind for over two years now. 

Just like Paul's entire letter, so many of the individual verses in Romans are packed full of meaning and beg for careful reading and re-reading. 

The ones I have in mind are familiar verses; you probably know them well yourself:

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will."

The phrase I have been chewing on lately is "the renewing of your mind" part. 

A certain organization (for which I recently worked ... briefly) often recited Romans 12:2 as their foundational verse. They seemed to equate "renewing the mind" with simply getting a good, Christ-centered education. 

You know I am big on education myself, but wouldn't "renew your mind" be a rather odd way of saying "learn more", even if we have in mind specifically learning more about God and Scripture?

Renew? Why not something more like "expand your mind", "broaden your mind", or "develop your mind"?

The Greek word translated as "renewing" means "a renewal, renovation, complete change for the better". 

Paul seems to have in mind something much bigger - and more transformative - than packing our heads with more facts.