SADDEST SONG ON THE RADIO

I frequently flip channels on the car radio as I drive, desperately looking for songs from the 80s. This leaves me with at least a passing familiarity with current pop music, which is largely terrible (something it has in common with 80s music). 

There's one song I have heard a lot in the past year that I have been back in the States and it leaves me so sad each time: I Hope by Gabby Barrett.

If you're not familiar with it, do not judge the song by the title; it is definitely not about "hope" in a biblical sense.

The first time I heard it, as the song progressed through the opening lines, I thought, "Wow, a song about well-wishes, possibly for an ex ... how refreshing!"

I hope you both feel the sparks by the end of the drive

I hope you know she's the one by the end of the night

I hope you never ever felt more free

Tell your friends that you're so happy

I hope she comes along and wrecks every one of your plans

I hope you spend your last dime to put a rock on her hand

I hope she's wilder than your wildest dreams

She's everything you're ever gonna need

True forgiveness! Wishing the very best for another person! Now that's some pure, mature, biblical love. 

And then ... she continues:

And then I hope she cheats 

Like you did on me.

Oh. 

There's no love here. Only a raging hate and a burning desire for revenge. 

And she doesn't even want to settle for "an eye for an eye". No, she goes on to wish that after the new girl cheats on him, they work hard to patch it up, he "forgives and almost forgets", and finds renewed happiness ... so that she can cheat on him AGAIN.

I looked up the song on YouTube. Between its various incarnations there, the song has well over 100 million views. 

It's a song that celebrates and wallows in hate and revenge, two of the most negative aspects of fallen humanity. And it is super popular.  

And that is sad.

INCREASE OUR FAITH?

I maintain that confronting a brother or sister in Christ when they have sinned against us in some way and then forgiving them if they repent (as commanded in Luke 17:3) is the exact opposite of what we want to do in such circumstances and thus it is the exact opposite of what we typically do. 

What Jesus asks flies in the face of not only our fallen human nature, but also our sense of justice. The other person sinned against us and now we are the ones on the hook? We are the ones who have to do the hard thing and confront and rebuke that person to their face? And then offer forgiveness even if their repentance is short-lived?

It is clear that the disciples understood how hard it would be to do what Jesus commands here. Just look at their response when Jesus drops this commandment on them:

The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!" (Luke 17:5)

This is a protest couched in spiritual language and Jesus calls them on it. His reply has two parts.

Part One: Jesus replied, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you." (Luke 17:6)

Part Two: "Suppose one of you has a servant plowing or looking after the sheep. Will he say to the servant when he comes in from the field, 'Come along now and sit down to eat'? Won't he rather say, 'Prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink'? Will he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do? So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.'" (Luke 17:7-10)

Although I hadn't noticed this before, it seems clear to me now that all these verses hang together as part of a single conversation Jesus has with his disciples. [The next verse pivots to a new episode in Jesus' ministry - meeting ten lepers as he traveled toward Jerusalem.]

Check me if I'm wrong, but here is my outline then of this entire conversation:

Jesus: If a fellow believer sins against you, here's the only proper response: you have to go to that person and rebuke them and then forgive them if they repent. Perhaps repeatedly.

Disciples: Are you serious? Increase our faith!

Jesus: This isn't about having more faith. It's about having more obedience. Don't forget that you are the servants and I am the master. Do what you're told. Increase your obedience!

Boom!

EVEN IF THERE IS A PRICE TO PAY

There is at least one other way a Luke 17:3 confrontation could go wrong. It's not even hinted at by Jesus in the passage, but I know it from personal experience. What if, when we rebuke a brother or sister who has sinned against us, the opposite of repentance and reconciliation occur? What if they dig in their heels and cover their tracks?

Here's my experience in vague terms: This person was doing some passive-aggressive posting on Facebook and it was pretty thinly veiled. A mutual friend had alerted me to the situation. The circumstances necessitated that my rebuke had to take place via text messaging, and maybe that was a mistake.

From my perspective, I had only the best intentions toward the "offender". I desired reconciliation and a better relationship moving forward. I thought my approach was gentle and that it even allowed this fellow believer to express their own point of view and any hurt that may have brought about the Facebook post.

Instead, the response was dismissive and filled with rather blatant lies. I was told I had misunderstood - the posting was innocent. Nothing to see here.

I pushed back a bit because it drives me crazy to have someone lie to me. But then I dropped it, allowing this person's story - and dignity - to remain intact when it became clear that repentance was not going to be forthcoming. 

I paid a heavy price for what I considered obedience to Scripture. This person (unbeknownst to me at the time) started telling others that this confrontation (which I had intended to resolve the conflict between us) had constituted nothing less than harassment! Eventually the harassment charge was taken all the way to my supervisors. 

And although my supervisors in time decided the charge of harassment had no merit, great damage was done.

Even so - and even though it cost me a lot of heartache and pain - I believe more firmly than ever that we as believers are called to obey Luke 17:3 simply because it reflects God's heart and his kingdom priorities. Jesus commands it. We have no excuses. 

And we are nowhere promised control over the outcomes.

IF THEY DO NOT REPENT

So let's assume that we are hurt by a brother or sister in Christ and we decide to confront that person and rebuke him or her face to face and give the opportunity to repent in accordance with Luke 17:3. 

Surely our obedience will be rewarded with smooth conversation where the offender sees the error of his or her ways and then asks for forgiveness. Maybe we will come to understand better how we ourselves contributed to the conflict and we also apologize. We cry together, we hug, and then we move forward with a newfound unity in Christ.

Right?

Although this is the goal, Scripture does not promise it will necessarily work out this way. 

Humans are humans.

In fact, Luke 17 itself implies that all may not go perfectly just because of our obedience in confronting the brother or sister: "If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them, and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times is a day and seven times come back to you saying, 'I repent,' you must forgive them."

Jesus implies that at least two major things could go wrong during this confrontation: 

1) The person does not repent. Notice that Jesus says "IF they repent..." They might not. Which is logical, really. For example, he or she might very well feel that you are making a big deal out of a minor incident. In general, humans do not excel in seeing each other's viewpoint. 

2) Perhaps even worse, the offender might apologize but then persist in repeating the offensive behavior or talk. If so, Jesus keeps us on the hook to continue forgiving him or her - even up to seven times a day!

Human interactions are messy and conflict resolution is not easy. 

Nevertheless, that is not a valid excuse for us to disobey Jesus' direct command to rebuke a brother or sister who sins against us.  

5 SIMPLE WORDS

In the midst of this conversation about "rebuking a fellow believer who has sinned against you", it occurs to me that there are five simple words I have discovered to make living out the Christian faith so much easier day to day: "Unless that makes you uncomfortable".

I have found that if I mentally tack these five words onto the tail end of any biblical commandment, my mind is put at ease instantly.

Just look at how it "fixes" Luke 17:3:  "If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them ... unless that makes you uncomfortable."

Problem solved! And it works equally well with many of Jesus' most difficult commands:

"Follow me and I will make you fishers of men ... unless that makes you uncomfortable."

"If any man would come after me, let him take up his cross and follow ... unless that makes you uncomfortable."

"Love your neighbor as you love yourself ... unless that makes you uncomfortable."

"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you ... unless that makes you uncomfortable."

"Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit ... unless that makes you uncomfortable."

This works great ... as long as I can keep myself convinced that God cares more about my comfort than about the Kingdom advancing. 

WHAT YOU MIGHT FIND OUT

"If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them, and if they repent, forgive them."

Do you know what you might find out if you have been sinned against by a brother or sister in Christ and you decide to obey the Lord's command in Luke 17:3 and actually confront that person face to face and put forward an honest and respectful rebuke in hope of repentance?

Maybe ... he is sincerely sorry.

Maybe ... she really is unaware of the hurt she caused.

Maybe ... he actually wants to be a better person.

Maybe ... it was all a misunderstanding.

Maybe ... her actions and words were somewhat justified.

Maybe ... you were just as much in the wrong.

Maybe ... he had a good reason you just weren't aware of.

Maybe ... you misheard her.

Maybe ... it was in retaliation for a hurt you caused him. 

And maybe ... just maybe ... a deep, Christ-honoring reconciliation is possible.

And do you know what you won't find out if you decide instead to disobey Luke 17:3? 

Anything that might disturb your sweet, smug embrace of a self-righteous anger against a fellow servant of Christ.

LUKE 17:3 - AN UNDERAPPRECIATED COMMAND

Not only is this command underappreciated, it is vastly underapplied:

Check out Luke 17:3-4 "If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them, and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying 'I repent,' you must forgive them."

I see at least three really difficult commands which are to guide our response to a fellow believer sinning against us. Let's take a closer look at the first:

1) "Rebuke them." This involves standing up for yourself and directly confronting this person who sinned against you. Pointing out that he or she has hurt you and admonishing him or her for it. Face to face. There is nothing harder and nothing rarer inside Christian circles. 

Consider the wide distance between what Jesus COMMANDS and what we typically DO.

When a brother or sister in Christ does something to hurt us, we typically:

- Complain to other people about how that person hurt us. We will never tire of repeating the story to anybody and everybody ... except the one person we should be talking to.

- Run down his or her reputation to other people. After all, we reason, everyone else ought to know exactly "what type of person" this is! Once we have drawn our own conclusion, it begs to be spread far and wide. 

- Find allies. "Oh, you were also hurt by this person? Well, you won't believe what he did to ME!"

- Go over his or her head. If we're really worked up, we might "demand to see the manager". In extreme cases, especially in this current American cultural climate, it is no longer unusual even to seek the termination of the offending person's job or entire career. (If we're lucky, we're allowed to do this anonymously!)

Notice what all these responses have in common:

1) The offender is never confronted.

2) Therefore the offender never has the chance to repent. Or explain his or her actions. 

3) The offended has no genuine interest in reconciliation. 

4)  The offended feels an incredible sense of self-righteousness.

5) Most importantly: These responses constitute flat out disobedience to God's word.

It is fitting that I should find myself writing about this particular topic on this particular day. One year ago today we left Haiti, not knowing that we were, in fact, moving back to Indiana. The points I have made here are lived experience and lessons I have been digesting for a year now. To be clear, I understand both sides of this equation very well because I recognize myself as having been, at various times, in both roles: the offender and the offended. 

So I say to you and I say to myself: No matter how difficult we find it, when we are offended by a fellow believer, in big ways or small, we must start obeying Luke 17:3 and go directly to the one who has hurt us. 

Anything short of complete obedience is sin.

POLITICAL VENTING

You'll be glad to know that I am successfully resisting the urge to write about politics tonight even though something I read on Twitter about an hour ago has my blood boiling. 

Thus I have spared you an unhealthy dose of my righteous anger and some finger pointing and a whole mess of whataboutism. Maybe a sprinkle of virtue signaling, too. You will never know what you have missed!

To be sure, I wanted to write about it, but I decided that if I indulged my (self) righteous anger here, nothing would have been gained except spreading that anger. 

If you were inclined (already) to agree with me, you would have caught my anger and possibly even spread it to other people. On the flip side, if you disagreed with me, you would still experience anger, but it would be directed at me personally.

Either way, the result would be multiplied anger in the world. 

(Fortunately, I have a "safety valve" - I just shared my disgust over the tweet with my three oldest kids and my wife and left it at that.)

As I have reflected on this over the past hour, I have decided that, when it comes to politics, the easiest thing in the world is to vent. 

The hardest thing is to ask myself what am *I* going to do about this issue? And "what I do about it" needs to be substantially more - and better - than just spreading indignation around.

WHEN TURNING THE OTHER CHEEK DOESN'T APPLY

"Turn the other cheek", you'll remember, is Jesus's command specifically for believers who are harmed in some way by "an evil person" (Matthew 5:39). 

But what if the person who harms us is not evil? What if the person who harms us is just a fellow believer? Maybe angry, or misguided, or ill-informed, but not evil?

Well, there's good news and there's bad news.

The good news: If the person who figuratively strikes my cheek is a brother or sister in Christ, I am not required to turn the other cheek.

The bad news: I am required to do something tougher! Something that perhaps grinds even harder against my fallen human nature. 

You might think I am talking about forgiveness, and, yes, we are most definitely called to forgive. And forgiveness is tough, but it is actually the second part of our obligation and it is dependent on the first part: Confrontation.

It's late and I need sleep, but if you're wondering where I am going with this, check out the first half of Luke 17. 

WORST OF SINNERS

When Paul says in I Timothy 1:15, "Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners - of whom I am the worst," we can be confident that this is not just rhetoric. 

Yes, Paul was a rhetorician in the sense that he was careful about how he stated his points and he expertly used rhetorical devices like analogies to explain his thoughts. But you don't have to read too much of his writing to come to the conclusion that he was also a straight shooter. 

He really understood himself to be the worst.

He continues, "But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life."

In other words, Paul believes that Jesus specifically picked the worst of sinners to forgive in order to show everyone else "If God can forgive this guy, he is patient enough to forgive anyone"!

Paul's framework when it came to the topic of sin was "I am the worst, but Jesus rescues sinners. Hallelujah!"

I have to wonder if this framework is what gave Paul the ability to persevere in hope for the early churches he planted. His letters make it clear that these gatherings were often crippled with terrible theology, in-fighting, and immoral behaviors of all sorts. 

If Paul hadn't understood himself to be "the worst sinner", might he have lost patience, thrown up his hands in exasperation and screamed, "You people are irredeemable"?

I'm thinking the early church required a leader who saw in the mirror "the worst of sinners". 

  

WHOSE SIN IS IN THE PERIPHERY?

In reality every person you know - every last person on this planet - is both a victim and a perpetrator of sin. The temptation, though, for every one of us is to play up instances of our victimhood while we downplay our own guilt in hurting others. We're always the ones getting our cheeks slapped, never the ones slapping the cheeks of others. Sometimes we focus on the wrong others do to such an extent that our own sinfulness disappears in the periphery.  It's a recipe for anger, self-righteousness and complaining. 

We would do well to practice the opposite: put our focus on recognizing our own sinful thoughts, words and actions while giving only a passing glance at the sins of others.

This is "removing the log from my own eye". 

This is Paul saying, in I Timothy 1:15, quite sincerely: "Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners - of whom I am the worst."

SPRING BREAK WRAP UP

Our Myrtle Beach trip is now a memory and so, while the memory is fresh, I better record at least the highlights.

An early photo I posted to Facebook prompted a renewed contact with some old friends from OMS, Garth and Becca, who now live near Myrtle Beach. They kindly treated Melissa and me to a wonderful lunch and then helped us save some money on local attractions. 

Since the weather was less than fantastic, we spent one afternoon wandering through some shops in the touristy "Broadway on the Beach". It looked a bit like a ghost town - seems like the Covid shutdowns hit this area of the country pretty hard. 

Nevertheless ... overpriced candy and ice cream could still be had.

One of my favorite local sights we explored was Brookgreen Gardens, an art exhibit, zoo, nature preserve, and history lesson rolled into one. 

Samuel helping out one of the locals:

An incredibly beautiful place.

We hopped on the pontoon boat ride for a blustery trip up river and back while learning about the rice plantations that were built here on slave labor long ago. 

We used some of our Biden bucks to treat the kids to the one thing they were talking about from the first day of our trip: helicopter rides. The billboards advertised "$20 Helicopter Rides" all over town. Of course, once we arrived on site, it was a classic up sale scenario. We splurged a bit.

Sarah: "Caleb and Hannah are going to be wishing they were here for this!"

Me: "We wouldn't be doing this if they were here." 

There are definitely some things that are not nearly so out of reach for a family of four for which I would never have considered paying with a family of six. 

Our only big accomplishment for our final day was a trip back to our favorite restaurant find for lunch. It was well worth a return.

Since we drove straight home yesterday instead of spreading the trip over two days, today felt like a bonus day around the house. Melissa and I spent much of the day rearranging our laundry room.

Tomorrow after church I will be spending a few hours finishing up my grading and making plans for this final quarter of the school year. 

NOBODY TO WORRY

We wrapped up our Myrtle Beach trip this morning, checked out a few minutes before 10 and hit the road. It was cold and dreary, and I was thankful - making it easier to leave.  After about 5 hours on the road, we re-evaluated our plans to spread the drive over two days and found that the four of us were unanimous in our desire to sleep in our own beds tonight. 

So we pushed through, making it to our own front door by 11:00 pm after an uneventful day of travel. 

The dogs were so excited to see us that they both lost their breath and started wheezing. Sad!

Samuel and I dragged the suitcases in from the car. Melissa unloaded the food from the cooler into the refrigerator. And then ... I didn't have anyone to call.

Mom has been gone for a year and a half now and it is always these moments when I and/or the family arrive somewhere safely that I find myself very aware of her absence.

I want to call her and say, "I just wanted you to know we made it home safely" so that she could reply, "I appreciate that. You know I worry."

VILLAINS

 

Allow me a short tangent on what I wrote yesterday regarding what Jesus refers to as "an evil person" in Matthew 5:39. 

It is important to keep in mind that you and I have met very few truly evil people in our lifetimes. And even those who may legitimately be labeled as "evil" are not at all likely to "own" that label themselves.

 Dr. Evil is an outlier:

Speaking for myself, I have often been too quick to pin the worst of motives on other people, especially on those who do or say things that hurt me or make my life more difficult. It's easy to imagine those words and actions spring from some core of evil.

But this last year has taught me that people can say and do outrageously damaging and hurtful things while feeling incredibly self-righteous. (Including me.)

As George R. R. Martin has put it succinctly, "Nobody is the villain in their own story." When we get our cheek struck by somebody - a co-worker, a family member, a stranger - it might be extremely useful to remember this. 

TURN THE OTHER CHEEK?

Conflict - I tell my language arts students - is what drives a story.

In fact, it's what drives life itself. And, in a fallen world, it is unfortunately a defining feature of human interaction.

As I reach the halfway point of my spring break trip to Myrtle Beach, it strikes me that one of the main purposes of a vacation is to give a respite from all the day-to-day conflict in our lives. 

Apart from vacation time, I have typically chosen "turn the other cheek" as my default response to conflict, both great and small. It has great appeal in that one can feel righteously obedient to Scripture ... while meekly avoiding confrontation. 

For fifty years I have assumed that "turn the other cheek" was the hard and fast sole rule for believers facing any sort of hurt we receive from another person, but I have recently come to the conclusion that it is not.

If you don't believe me, take a second look at what Jesus actually says about turning the other cheek. The occasion is the Sermon on the Mount. The context is whether or not to practice "an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth" sort of revenge. 

In Matthew 5:38-39, Jesus teaches, "You have heard it said, 'Eye for eye, tooth for tooth'. But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also." 

First, I don't think the emphasis here is on passivity. Rather, refraining from striking back is the focus. We should not imagine that Jesus would expect an abused wife, for instance, to stick around and continue absorbing her husband's violence. Certainly, though, He would counsel her not to put a knife to the guy's throat. That's a big difference.

Secondly, Jesus commands "turn the other cheek" as the best path for hurt received specifically from "an evil person".

Let me ask this: how many evil people have you come across in your lifetime? I mean, people that Jesus Himself would call evil. Maybe I have lived a charmed life, but I can think of only four or five people who have struck out to harm me or my family who I could justify calling "evil". 

So what about conflict with all the people who aren't evil? What about the folks who are simply misguided? Or overly self-righteous? Or who slipped up once or twice? Does "turn the other cheek" apply in those cases?

What about brothers and sisters in Christ? Are we supposed to turn the other cheek when they hurt us? 

Obviously, we're still not supposed to strike back, but Scripture lays out an even more difficult program when a fellow believer strikes us on the cheek.

SPRING BREAK DAY 3

The last time our family was in Myrtle Beach, the kids were much, much smaller. On Monday, Melissa and I decided to retrace our steps from that earlier trip by packing some sandwiches and visiting a couple of local state parks. 

The best word to describe our day: COLD.

Our most interesting find was at Huntington Beach State Park: a fascinating historical house called Atalaya Castle. This was the winter home of a famous early 20th century sculptor, Anna Hyatt Huntington, and her husband Archie, a philanthropist and poet.

I decided that when I grow up, I want to become a poetic, philanthropic sculptor. This house must have really been something in its heyday.

Archie was about Samuel's height - 6"5' - and so the doorways and ceilings are all extra high. Here's Samuel standing in Archie's personal shower which featured 7 separate nozzles. 

After wandering around the house for a while, we decided to go look for alligators in another part of the park. We pulled into a parking lot for a pier that stretched into a saltwater marsh and found friends from church who were on their way out. What are the chances?

Anyway, we did eventually see a couple of alligators lounging by the side of the road. And that absolutely terrified Melissa. 

 

SPRING BREAK DAY 2

Yesterday morning we woke up in Columbia, South Carolina, and had just two and a half hours to drive to get to Myrtle Beach. Fortunately, we were able to check in early at the resort and get settled in shortly after noon.

On a local recommendation, we found a restaurant called The Boathouse for a late lunch and it exceeded our expectations. Samuel and I were very interested in ordering the fried pickle appetizer. At $9, I expected a dozen or so pickles on a plate. But I swear they emptied an entire jar of pickles into that deep fat fryer! And they were GOOD, as were the entrees.

So my proud parent moment of the day came with the check. Melissa and I planned to give an eight dollar tip and Samuel, who had been raving about his chicken sandwich, said, "That was so good, I want to contribute to the tip myself." You see, since becoming a server at a Columbus restaurant a few years ago, he has developed a firm empathy for waiters and waitresses everywhere. So we ended up giving a healthy $11 tip.

Who would have guessed seeing my son chip in an extra $3 for a lunch would make me so happy?

It's been great to watch Samuel and Sarah interact on this trip. They really do love each other and I think it is starting to sink in to both of them that Sam will be heading off to college in a few short months. 

Don't let the beach pictures fool you - it is nearly subfreezing here. 

P.S. Speaking of tipping, I am reminded how Melissa has told me that back in her own waitressing days, the servers always hated seeing Christian groups show up for meals - Sunday lunches, Baptist convention in town, etc. - because the tips were so bad. Christians, we should have the reputation of being awesome tippers. AND we should be tipping in CASH. 

THAT LITTLE VOICE

It's late so I have only a series of short questions tonight. Short but with big ramifications. And they all center on that little voice in the back of our minds that is constantly shooting its mouth off throughout our days:

In general, how often does that little voice speak the truth to us?

How often does it speak the truth about those we consider to be our enemies?

And how often does it speak the truth even about those we love?

How often does it speak the truth about who we ourselves are?

How often does it say we are worthwhile? That we are valued? Or loved?

Or LOVEABLE?

And why do we put so much stock in what it tells us?

If we had the power to examine objectively the things that voice says to us, we would see that it is wrong so much more often than it is right. 

You know that, don't you?

Why do you listen to it? Why do I listen to it?

SPRING BREAK DAY 1

My family has had some fantastic vacations in the past twenty or so years. So it is incredibly disappointing that I remember so little about them!

My memory is terrible; I anticipate that a year from now I will likely have only vague impressions of our 2021 trip to Myrtle Beach ... if I don't take the time to write down specific memories. Therefore, I have decided that for the next few days, I will use this space to document this trip.

As for today? Nothing too fun or exciting - just 9 or so hours of interstate driving - so I have nothing but a handful of observations regarding the best and worst parts of the day:

• We left home at 10:30 this morning. In the past, this would have driven me crazy. I prefer to hit the road early. Maybe I am mellowing in my old age.

• The best part so far is that we left the dogs at home with Grandma. I like Ginger and Sugar, but they sure monopolize our attention, from early morning until late at night (and twice just this past week in the middle of the night). It's good to get a break from the barking and the begging and the trips in and out of doors. (Pray for Grandma!)

• The worst part by far is that we don't have Caleb and Hannah with us. That feels very weird. But there was no chance that either Caleb or Hannah would have a spring break that lined up with their younger siblings' since neither is getting a spring break at all this year. (It's the colleges' heavy-handed means of limiting movement of the student body off campus during the present semester - one more reason for me to feel sorry for the college students during Covid.)

• The second best part of the day was driving into spring. By 4:00 in the afternoon, I noticed that we were among trees just beginning to sprout new greenery and daffodils along the highway were in full bloom. 

• The second worst part of the day is immediately ahead: an attempt to get some sleep on lumpy hotel beds in a run down Ramada Inn outside of Columbia, South Carolina.

INTERMITTENT FASTING

Someone has described "intermittent fasting" as American-Fitness-Guru Speak for "skipping breakfast", but it is a bit more than that. In essence, it is eating only within the time boundaries of a specified window each day. So, for example, eating nothing before 11:00 AM and then nothing after 7:00 PM, but eating normally during the 8 hours between. 

It's a simple idea and I find it a useful practice now and then. It reminds me of three basic truths that apply far beyond diet considerations:

1) Hunger pangs are uncomfortable, but not fatal. 

2) I find that my willpower can more easily handle cutting out my consumption of food entirely (for a short time) than cutting back on my consumption all day long. It's no contest, in fact.

3) Self-control is a muscle that grows stronger with exercise.

PRINCESS

In my single days I once housesat six weeks for a family with a cat named Princess. She was aptly named and the entire house was her kingdom.

Princess liked to jump onto the kitchen counter, roam about at leisure and then lick water from the kitchen sink. The family thought this was adorable. 

I did not. 

I do not care for cats and I prefer my food to be free of all cat hair.

I decided that six weeks would be more than enough time to break Princess of her bad kitchen habits. And, sure enough, within the first week, thanks to a few swift and forceful swipes of my arm, Princess ceded the kitchen to me.

For five weeks, I ruled at least one room of the house.

When the family came back and I turned over the house keys, honest to goodness, the first thing that cat did was jump up on the kitchen counter, defiantly square her body towards mine, and glare at me. 

With her posse behind her, she was back in charge. And she dared me to lay a finger on her. 

This is the image that came to mind in the few weeks since my sugar fast ended in January. Sugar has slowly crept back into my kitchen and now flexes its muscle once again. My weight has started creeping back up. (Melissa, by the way, has done much, much better than I at keeping sugar at bay.)

With spring break upon us (one more day of school!), I have recently decided I had better start exercising control over sugar again or else it will get the better of me. (The tiredness and morning aches have returned with the sugar and that alone should be motivation enough.)

So now I have decided to do some "intermittent fasting" and see if I can exert a bit of self control again, at least in the mornings and evenings.

WHY EMAIL STINKS

One of my favorite classes I get to teach this semester is 7th grade Communications. In the process of thinking through all the various components that make up any particular message we receive or send during the course of our days, it finally dawned on me why I hate email so much - at least for anything beyond the most rudimentary conveyance of any material void of emotion. 

Consider how much vital information is conveyed in a basic face-to-face exchange:

In Person:

The Words Themselves

The Speaker's Tone and Volume

The Speaker's Facial Expressions

The Speaker's Body Language

Now, consider how the pool of information shrinks as distance grows between communicator and audience:

Video Call Over Zoom:

The Words Themselves

The Speaker's Tone and Volume

The Speaker's Facial Expressions

Phone Call:

The Words Themselves

The Speaker's Tone and Volume

Email or Text Message:

The Words Themselves

How often do a communicator's tone and volume add extremely vital information to the spoken words? Always! Not to mention the possibility of tone completely negating the plain message of the words. (Pause to imagine hearing a spouse say the words "I'm fine" to your query of "What's wrong?")

With an email, the communication is stripped down to the bare words standing alone. Nothing more. No smile. No shrug of the shoulders. No noticeable irritation in the tone of voice. 

If the message contains any potentially emotional component (for the writer or for the reader or for both), the communication becomes a minefield. 

Email, outside of narrowly defined valid uses, functions as a tool of mass miscommunication. 

NO DRAGGING

As I said goodnight to Sarah Sunday night, the last night before our last week of classes before a full week of spring break, I found myself lamenting to her, "I sure don't look forward to going to school tomorrow. This week is going to absolutely drag by." 

Since I've been thinking over the last few days about how I routinely exercise authority over my hands without even conscious thought, I decided this might make for a worthwhile experiment to see how exercising a little extra authority over my other thoughts might impact my day.

So yesterday morning, on my way to school, I vowed to banish the negative attitude and muster some extra energy. I decided that I wouldn't look forward just to 3:00 pm on Friday. I told myself, instead, that something good was going to happen sometime this week - before Friday afternoon - and I could look forward each day to the possibility of that good thing being revealed.

I haven't found out what that good thing is yet, but I can guarantee the first two days of the week have been a lot more pleasant than I expected. 40% of the week has passed already!

HANDS

A friend of mine during college days would sometimes express some current "deep thought" he was mulling. One day he asked, "Have you ever woken up in the morning and looked at your hand resting on the pillow in front of your face and thought, 'I control this'?" At this point, he held his hand up and wiggled each finger and his eyes grew wide in wonder. The rest of us laughed.

But it actually is kind of amazing. How many super-intelligent scientists have put in how many hours in recent decades attempting (unsuccessfully) to recreate in robotic hands the dexterity and sensitivity of those two amazing instruments at the end of your arms!

Our hands can grasp pencils and paintbrushes. They can wipe away tears, pick up pennies, and offer a pat on the back. They can sculpt. They push lawnmowers. They braid hair and tie shoelaces and flip burgers. They type letters and control video game characters. They lift coffee cups and turn pages. Change diapers. Apply Band-Aids. And throw baseballs.

And each movement begins as an impulse in our brains. 

If our brains command a movement, our hands respond instantaneously to accomplish the goal of our will.

Which gets me wondering: is it possible to exercise the same sort of unquestioned control over our stomachs, our eyes, our mouths, and even our thoughts?

If not, why is that?

[The photo is of a sculpture I created during high school which now sits in my office. I made it with my own two hands.]

THE PROMISE OF DAFFODILS

If memory serves me correctly, these are daffodils that have broken through the mulch in recent days. But the last time we enjoyed the advent of spring while living is this house was 2011, so I could be wrong. I will know for certain soon enough.

Haiti is in bloom year round - which is wonderful day by day - but I have missed the great metamorphosis of spring. There is something truly profound about newborn beauty suddenly and completely redecorating the barren, dead landscape of a long, cold winter. 

Sure, the sight of budding flowers inspires joy as they are harbingers of warmer weather and longer days. 

But much more than joy, they inspire Hope. Ultimate Hope. 

If we have eyes to see, the daffodils, crocuses and tulips all point in their small way to the promise of resurrection we have in Christ. 

I don't mean to sound morbid, but winter is real and so is death: Some day, my body will be planted into the dark ground like a seemingly lifeless daffodil bulb to await the appointed time. 

And then - when the time is right ... stand back and see what God can make of me!

NOT CHANGING MINDS

Americans currently put a lot of effort into changing each other's minds. "Agreeing to disagree" and "Live and let live" are things of the past. 

The points of contention are endless: the effectiveness of masks and shutdowns, the correct approach to combating racism, who deserves to be canceled or boycotted, whether or not schools should be fully reopened, the morality of capitalism. And the news media and politicians offer up fresh fights every day. 

The fields of battle are vast: Facebook, Twitter, workplaces, and Thanksgiving dinners. 

And each side of every argument imagines itself armed with Truth and Logic. 

In reality, snarkiness, insults and disdain compose 95% of most disagreements. Strawmen and ad hominem attacks are abundant; active listening and empathy are in short supply. 

We really want to persuade each other - which I find admirable - but we screw it up every time. And then we blame the other person for being too stupid or too evil to grasp our point of view. 

To me, it's exhausting to even watch. But some people seem to relish the fight. 

THE LAMEST VIRTUE

 Recently I've discovered audio books on YouTube by Malcolm Gladwell, specifically Talking to Strangers and Outliers. I really enjoyed the books and Gladwell's different perspective and felt like I learned some things, but I had not been familiar with his writing before the algorithm brought his books to me. 

It matters to me who I am listening to, so I looked up Gladwell's reputation ... on Twitter. Not surprisingly, there was a spectrum of opinions stretching all the way from "brilliant" to "idiotic". 

This disturbed me. I don't want to waste time listening to an idiot. 

One tweet linked to a Daily Beast article about the Beatles (whom Gladwell discussed briefly in Outliers). In that article, the Daily Beast author describes Gladwell as " the halo-haired New Yorker pop intellectual whose simplistic, feel-good summaries of contemporary research on trends (The Tipping Point) and decision-making (Blink) have transformed him into a corner-office icon who can command $80,000 per speech on the corporate lecture circuit". 

He's a "pop" intellectual? His insights are "simplistic" and "feel-good"? What's wrong with me that I didn't recognize this for myself? 

When I stopped to reflect, though, I recalled one of my major lessons from 2020: You can't necessarily believe any individual's take on any other person's reputation. Because fallen people LOVE to run other people's reputations into the ground, given half a chance.

(And YES, I did this myself a few days ago when I wrote about Craig Groeschel - whom I have never met and know precious little about. I am one of those fallen people.) 

So I concluded that I could continue to listen to Gladwell in good conscience, especially since I certainly do not believe everything I see or read or hear anymore anyway. And this morning I was especially heartened to hear an interview of Gladwell which contained the following exchange:

Interviewer: You really enjoy contradicting yourself. (This was a friendly jab.)

Gladwell: I do, yeah. 

Interviewer: Why?

Gladwell: Well, I'm more worried about not contradicting myself. I would be very concerned if I were still saying the same things today as I was saying ten years ago. That would strike me as being deeply problematic.

Interviewer: Why?

Gladwell: I would like to think that my current self is a good deal more interesting and thoughtful than my ten-years-before self. I've never attached any stigma whatsoever to contradiction. Consistency is surely the lamest of all human virtues.

That is profound. (Especially for a "pop intellectual"!)

Gladwell is giving himself an opening for changing his mind. And he is extending the same courtesy to everyone else. 

Today's American culture ... and America's Christian culture ... could use a strong shot of Gladwell's recognition of people's ability to grow and change and think differently over time. 

CLARITY

Tonight Melissa and I attended a virtual banquet for Clarity at our home church, Community Church of Columbus.

Well, I attended; Melissa was hosting. We had a small but dedicated group who came to hear updates on how the ministry has fared during the age of Covid and to be challenged to financially support all that God desires to accomplish through Clarity.

I've been familiar with Clarity's ministry for years from a distance and had long known it enjoyed a fantastic reputation in the Columbus area. Now, seeing it up close through Melissa's work there as the Director of Education, every positive thing I've ever heard about Clarity has been confirmed. And then some.

Clarity ministers across southern Indiana to expectant moms, especially those who are considering abortion or who have suffered abuse. They make so much godly support and a variety of services available to these young women ... and they are saving lives in the process. 

Melissa oversees the aspect of the ministry that reaches into local schools and churches with top-notch educational resources in an ongoing effort to spare as many young people as possible from the myriad of mistakes and suffering that too often derail young lives. 

You can check out their impressive website right HERE and while you are there, if you feel led to do so, you can click on the "Donate" button on the top right corner to become a part of this incredible ministry yourself.

WHO DO YOU TRUST?

 After carefully observing the media over recent years, I am currently experiencing a crisis of confidence when it comes to national news. I really don't know who to trust anymore. 

I used to simply believe the things I would read in a newspaper or see on the evening news. Now, my typical reaction to a news report - any report from any news outlet - is the following: "I wonder how much of that is true". This thought is quickly followed by "I doubt I will ever know for sure". 

Now I don't even trust my own judgment about how objective, thorough or discerning any particular outlet or individual reporter might be. How can I possibly measure their objectivity? 

The number of distortions and misrepresentations continues to multiply while retractions and mea culpas have become endangered species. 

Which leads to a valid but unanswerable question: who factchecks the factcheckers? 

It has left me a little discombobulated. 

If there is a silver lining to my loss of trust in the news media, it is a new appreciation of the uniqueness of Jesus's claim to BE truth.  

BOOK REPORT

When Amazon delivered "Winning the War in Your Mind - Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life" by Craig Groeschel, I had hopes that it would be a book I've been looking for:  a clear-eyed look at Scriptural truth through the lens of all the fascinating research in recent years regarding how the human brain functions (and malfunctions). 

I didn't know who Groeschel was, but inside the dust jacket was this promising blurb from John C. Maxwell:

Another blurb assured me that it is a "must-read ... Packed full of research." 

There's a wee bit of science in the book, but it seems to me that Groeschel's main research likely consisted of an afternoon Googling "brain science" and reading the first few websites that popped up. 

And as for "biblical wisdom", I give him credit for quoting the Bible frequently throughout the book, but the verses he quotes tend to be the very same verses you would find on an inspirational calendar from Big Lots. And just as isolated from any relevant context.

A lot of Groeschel's most "profound" insights read like points from a megachurch sermon:

"If it's big enough to worry about, it's big enough to pray about." 

And "If it's on your mind, it's on God's heart."

And there's a good reason for that: Groeschel is pastor of the third largest church in the U.S. and this new book is the framework for the church's latest sermon series. 

I won't say there's nothing of value in the book. But it strikes me as mostly a Christian infomercial for Daily Affirmations. Which may actually be pretty powerful, by the way, but I always end up picturing SNL's Stuart Smalley staring into a mirror and reciting:

So my wife gets points for knowing what I am looking for in a book, but I am going to have to keep looking for one that exercises expertise in combining what scientists know about the human brain with what Scripture says about our minds and spirits. 

(I can now cross "writing a snarky book review" off my bucket list.) 

SYMPATHY FOR THE COLLEGE STUDENTS

I bet the college students are getting pretty irritated. They have every right to be. 

For almost a year now they've been alternately shamed and flattered and scared into strict compliance with all the Covid19 protocols. New rules and restrictions pop up frequently but rarely get retracted. They're paying full price for college and getting only the downside (unimaginative lectures online and bad cafeteria food which they are supposed to take back to their cramped dorm rooms to eat) and precious little of the upside that constitutes the real heart of the college experience (late night socializing, sports events, socials, long conversations over meals, networking). 

The four most socially vibrant and challenging years of most people's lives and these current students endure daily finger-wagging from the administration to keep their distance and limit their contact. Don't ride in a car together. Put your mask on if you're going to walk from your dorm room to the community bathroom. No visitors on campus. No spring break because we don't want you traveling anywhere. 

Here's a wonderfully representative nugget of finger-wagging from an email penned by the president of my son's college just today:

"This week over 11% of students missed their surveillance testing time. This is not acceptable! No-shows make our already stretched staff spend valuable time tracking down students. Act responsibly and show up on time." [Emphasis in the original]

One out of every ten students doesn't show up for a weekly Covid test? 

Such brazen irresponsibility!

Good grief! Who is paying this guy's salary? [Answer: my son is.] 

Keep shaming the students over weekly Covid tests and maybe they'll never question why HIPAA privacy laws don't apply to colleges and universities. 

(How many individuals would sit by passively if the universities started mandating weekly STD testing? What if those tests resulted in instant short term consequences like being quarantined in a special dorm or sent home for two weeks if a student tests positive?  I think that might be frowned upon by most people.)

But the thing that really bugs me is the ridiculous pretense that all these tests and rules and restrictions are "for the safety of the students". For their own good. 

What a charade. The average college student with Covid has mild cold symptoms - a sore throat, runny nose, or fatigue - if they even notice that they have the disease. The administration ought to have the guts to acknowledge that the schools are asking great sacrifices from the students for the sake of keeping their own older faculty and staff safe. (While continuing to charge those students full price.) 

If the colleges had started this school year packing the students into classrooms like normal while the professors beamed in their lectures from home, by October the students would have had herd immunity. The professors could have eventually returned to class and been asked to wear a mask and distance themselves from the students. And all the college students could have carried on like a bunch of college students from the beginning of the year to the end. 

In my opinion, the president should be absolutely elated that 89% of the students are willing once a week to come spit in the college's cups. 

I for one can't blame the students who don't give a spit.